Saturday, April 23, 2016

Trust #atozchallenge

"In Angus’ mind these furtive afternoon meetings were the beginnings of an illicit affair, the foundation stones of trust and familiarity which would enable them to participate in a very risky and immoral game. Afrooz did nothing in the early weeks to discourage this thinking. In fact, in the evenings after their afternoon rendezvous, they would chat on Facebook. These chats started very innocently, but in time, and on several occasions, when they were both alone in front of their respective computers, their chatting became flirtatious. Angus remembered one time when he and Afrooz pretended to be neighbours and he went to see her to ask for some sugar.
            Hello Neighbour.
            Hi. Lovely day today.
            Yes. I need to borrow some sugar please.
Okay. Come in.
Let me see. I have to reach up here to get it.
Can I help you?
Yes. Come and help me. (wink)
Is that better? (smiley face)
Like this.
That’s good. (smiley face)
Ah, I’ve got it now. Thank you. Here you go.
That’s enough thanks.
Have some more. I want to give you more. (wink)
I want some more.(wink)
Here you go. Oops, I dropped it. I’ll have to bend over to pick it up.
Are you looking at my ass? (wink)
Yes, is that okay?(wink)
You didn’t really come here for sugar did you? (wink)
No. (smiley face)"
Lovesick chapter 1

Ah such irony, from our beloved anti-hero Angus. He speaks of establishing trust with a married woman whilst destroying the trust his wife has placed in him. Trust is a funny thing.

It’s automatic in children, a natural outworking of the bond which develops between them and their parents and carers. As they grow, particularly when they begin school, they are taught selective trust. Strangers are not to be trusted whereas police officers are. They also absorb attitudes of trust, and are progressively more trusting as they become increasingly independent. Trust only transforms into an issue when it is breached. The lesson learned, reinforces the selective trust concept, by confirming that some people can be trusted and some can’t.

Sometimes our mistrust is warranted, such as when someone has betrayed our trust. When I was fifteen I told my parents I was staying at a friend’s house and would not be going out. I went out, and the first they knew of it was when the police called to say I had been found in possession of a stolen car. One of the consequences of my breach of trust was that I was grounded for several months. I was no longer trusted to do anything other than go to school and come home again.

At other times, we don’t trust people simply because people we do trust have told us not to. There also occasions when something inside us warns us not to trust. On occasion we decided to trust someone even when we have doubts, and the results are mixed.

One of the X-Files catch phrases was ‘trust no one.’ While that reeks of paranoia, it is certainly true that we cannot trust everyone, and even those in whom we do place our trust may let us down. To borrow from the Old Bard: to trust or not trust, that is the question.

I have become less trusting over the years which in some ways is a good thing. On the other hand it makes me a little sad to think we live in a world where trust can be such a rare and precious commodity.


  1. Trust is a ridiculous concept. Only a human would ascribe romantic tendencies to calculated risks based on statistical probability within known parameters. By categorizing the risk-based decision as 'trust', culpability is inevitably assigned to the object of the decision if that choice turns out to be wrong. While the wrong decision (on the part of the truster) may well harm the truster, this is not necessarily the object of the trust breaker - yet it is automatically implied. This does not help an already tricky situation.

    1. Indeed. although I've never heard trust referred to as a ridiculous concept.

  2. Angus wanted to establish trust with his new dalliance to ensure she would not be one of those women that would gossip about an an affair, which might get back to his wife. One thing I wish people would think about in the age of the cell phone is having personal conversations in public. I have heard people discuss the intimate details of their life, and I would if they should trust all strangers who might happen to hear these. I would caution people to be more discrete because you never know who might be listening. Or maybe I am just paranoid, so I do not have personal discussions in a public place.

    1. Absolutely re public conversations. I think it's very weird: both the content and the volume. I never really thought of it from a 'who might be listening point of view' and tbh, that does sound just a wee bit paranoid, but I think of it more in relation to consideration of others. I don't think offenders understand discretion. Thanks for visiting and for taking the time to comment.

  3. This post brings to mind that song from King and I, "A Puzzlement":

    Is a danger to be trusting one another/ One will seldom want to do what other wishes/ But unless someday somebody trust somebody/ There'll be nothing left on earth excepting fishes!

    1. Nice. Yes. Thanks for visiting and taking the time to comment.

  4. Trust is a fickle thing. I do agree that as we get older, we learn the hard way that we cannot trust everyone. Unfortunately, it's the way of the world. Even those whom we're supposed to trust, like police officers, are not to be trusted, especially with the stories of police brutality over the past couple of years.

    We've become an untrustworthy society. We don't know who's going to turn our back on us and spread gossip. I think social media has played a big factor in this. We cannot anonymously bully and bash people without confronting them face-to-face. And I think until we make the decision to stand up and exercise the principles of honesty, we will never be seen as trustworthy.

    G. R. McNeese from
    Project Blacklight

    1. Very well put. Children are taught that police officers are people they can trust, but they grow up and learn police officers can;t be trusted. Even parents can't be trusted sometimes. It's a bloody mess really, but we've only got ourselves to blame. Thanks for visiting and for taking the time to comment.