The Twilight Zone #CTST

I was surprised to see that my last post was six weeks ago. Where have I been? Where have you been, Dave? 

I finished work on December 11 and flew home to see my family which was great. Then I spent a week holidaying in Phuket which was a little crazy, but also super relaxing. Returning to Darwin on New Years Eve, I didn't make it to midnight, opting instead for a 12 hours catch up sleep beginning at 10pm. With one week, at that stage, before I had to return work, I did a whole lot more of nothing, but did manage to get sick (a really bad cold-almost man flu) for the first time since moving to Darwin in August 2016. Thankfully there was plenty of cricket to watch, and everyone knows how much I love that great game. Back at work, I was a little lethargic, but eventually got back into the groove, and before long the whole holiday seemed like a dream.

I think that's one of the things I really like about vacations. especially overseas or even interstate trips: they are real, but not quite real. There's an ephemeral quality to life in another place where you don't work, you just rest and play. You save, plan and wait, then you enter the twilight zone.

Then, like a flash of lightning in a stormy sky, it ends before you want it to, before you can really enjoy it, and soon becomes just another memory.

2018 is here. 2017 seems like so long ago.

A Welcome Forgetfulness

From the moment I said good-bye at the airport on August 5 to begin the new Darwin chapter of my life, I began dreaming of my return home for Christmas. As hard as I tried to not wish my life away, I could not resist the emotional pull of family and familiarity. And so, it was with joyful expectation that I counted the months, the weeks, the days and finally the hours until I packed my suitcase and headed for the airport.

It is said that three weeks is an ideal length of time for a holiday. The first week is winding down, the second relaxing, and the third gearing up. I haven't had enough holidays of more than a couple of days duration to properly test this theory, and this time has not been at all normal, but I'm beginning to feel something. Today is day 10 of my holiday-the half way point, and a vague forgetfulness is creeping over me.

The alarm has not, but once, rudely interrupted me from slumber. I have driven my XR6, which I missed, everywhere I needed to go, but the imperative to go has diminished. I eat and drink whatever I want whenever I want - late dinners, early lunches, multiple lunches. Planning for the day happens that morning or maybe the night before. I don't exercise except for spontaneous walks around the beach at Kiama or bicycle rides. There is nothing I have to do. No place I have to go.

I can almost not remember that I live in Darwin, that I have a job there and that I don't know when I will return home for good. The memory of strict routines, buses, gym work outs and continually oppressive heat have faded. The loneliness, and the symptoms of Hug Deprivation Syndrome have disappeared. I feel lazy and unenergetic, and I'm happy to go with that because I am on holiday. I can almost forget that I'll never see my dad again.

It's a beautiful sunny morning. We'll probably go to the beach, but we don't have to. I'll watch some more cricket on TV, swimming in the languid sea of rest, falling all over the lounge in various positions of repost. I might even have a beer before lunch. I don't have any real plans. I'm in week 2 of my break, and I feel calmer than I have for quite some time. To achieve this tranquility means choosing to forget, but not in the sense of not remembering; it's more like letting go.

Photo sources:
http://www.qantasnewsroom.com.au/media-releases/qantas-dreamliners-symbolise-new-era-for-national-carrier/
http://www.illawarramercury.com.au/story/2980957/sharks-spotted-feeding-in-kiama-photos/mer/
http://www.kotaku.com.au/2014/04/the-big-question-winter-or-sum

Celebrate the Small Things: Capricorn Moon

Alas, I must return to work on Monday after a three week break, and so it is with some disappointment that I report on the non cooperation of the weather with my holiday plans.

We went to Auckland for New Year's Eve, and spent a couple of days there sightseeing...in the rain. Yes, it rained the whole time. On our return home we found the weather had followed us, so we had three more days without the sun. Keep in mind, it is summer Down Under and yours truly likes to hit the beach daily during his Christmas/New Year vacation.

On Friday the sun came out, so I headed for the beach, but it was closed due to dangerous conditions. Sure the sun was shining and a light breeze was blowing. It would have been perfect except for the fact the lifeguards had put up the no swimming sign. Undeterred...okay I was slightly deterred, I traveled further south to another beach. Imagine my joy when, upon arrival I found the same beach closed sign.

I stood and pondered the awful cruelties of life, and while I was feeling sorry for myself, the lifeguards zoomed out across the beach in their little sand buggy, and erected those beautiful red and yellow flags which declare to all that the surf is ready to receive swimmers. On my way in to the crisp rolling waves, I thanked the lifeguard for opening the beach just for me.

2016 looms large as a potentially great year for my career according to the Chinese horoscope, or so my partner assures me. Across the Margin published my short story Capricorn Moon on January 6, so I'm off to a good start. Lovesick is resting, waiting for the first round of revisions, and I have commenced my next project which is a supernatural thriller. As for going back to work on Monday...I can hardly wait. I love my job!

May 2016 be an outstandingly successful one for you, both personally and professionally. Do you have any particular goals or plans?

Celebrate the Small Things: Hugs

This may cause some discussion amongst readers. Is a hug a small thing? Some would say even a small hug is a big thing. Others might suggest that some hugs aren't as meaningful or poignant as others, and that can't be contested. Although one might think that all hugs are nice, some would disagree: unwanted hugs, for example, are certainly not nice. Anyway, I'm not here to debate the merits or significance of hugs. I'm here to tell you about a recent hug which meant a huge amount to me personally.

Last Sunday night we had a family farewell dinner for my son who was heading off to Europe for a six week holiday. After dinner we hugged, and I wished him well, thinking that would be the last time I saw him before he left. Four days later, the day before departure, I was at his house to pick up my daughter and my son was unexpectedly there: washing clothes and packing. We talked for a bit, and then we hugged again before I said goodbye. It was such a lovely bonus to be able to hug him once more.


I don't see much of my son these days. He's busy with work and uni, and his girlfriend, and that's all okay. He's 19. He has his own life now. I've been letting go of him slowly every since he started school, but I am thankful for the fact that we have a good, close relationship. Despite some dramatic turbulence over the last 12 months or so, due to the break down of my marriage, we are still friends and of course I am very grateful for that. That last hug was serendipity: a small thing and a huge thing simultaneously.

Have you had a nice hug lately?

Photo sources:
http://businessmarketingsuccess.com/2011/04/21/grow-your-business-by-developing-a%E2%80%9Chug%E2%80%9D-your-customer-mentality/
http://www.desicomments.com/desi/hug-day/page/3/

L is for Lazing About

L is for Lazing Around

“After a week of lounging around his apartment, watching movies, eating and drinking too much, Mark decided he needed a change of scenery. The prospect of a long rest with nothing to do, no place to be, no uniform to wear, and no orders to follow had seemed very appealing until boredom gate crashed his party.

He rolled over and stared at the clock. It was six thirty, and so far, his longest sleep in. He stayed in bed longer than he needed to because there was no reason to get up. He was supposed to be recuperating so his indolence was entirely justified but it troubled him, nonetheless. He tossed himself around on the bed, as much as his broken ribs would allow. The odd twinge was all he experienced now. He banged his hand against the bed, then against the pillow. Then he let it fall rather than thrusting it down. He squeezed his hand, bent his legs.”   from chapter 6, Ashmore Grief

If you are an active person, if your life is full of numerous activities and responsibilities which  demand your attention, your time and your energy, then you need a vacation. If you are such a person who frets over time wasted, and the inefficient use of resources then you need to chill. You push hard to cram as much as you can into your twenty four hours whilst always wishing for an extension, and you need to achieve your goals, to get things done. You have a to do list, and you motivate yourself with self improvement quotes. You love to work. Paid work, voluntary work, any sort of work. You are always on the go, and you can find time for everything.

It makes me tired just thinking about it. Rest is severely underrated by people like you, and I know because there is a little bit of you in me. I’m fighting it because I don’t want to live life at one hundred miles an hour. I don’t want to be so driven that I cannot enjoy anything. Cliche alert: I want to be able to stop and smell the roses. I’m learning to relax. I’m learning to appreciate quietness and slowness.

Take a vacation, and if it’s been a while since your last one, then make it a long one. Unwind. Relax. Enjoy. It may be very difficult, as it was for Mark in Ashmore Grief, who liked the idea but found the practice of rest uncomfortable and unsatisfying, but please try. If you work hard, you deserve rest. Don’t begrudge yourself this simple pleasure.

Photo source:

http://benralston.blogspot.com.au/2010/05/relaxation-1-what-is-relaxation.html