The Mirror: Lost in Space

Early in the 19th century, Johann David Wyss wrote The Swiss Family Robinson; a novel about a Swiss family of immigrants whose ship, en route to Port Jackson, Australia, goes off course and is shipwrecked in the East Indies. Wyss' purpose for writing the novel was to educate his four sons about family values, good husbandry, the uses of the natural world and self reliance. The family name "Robinson" is not used in the novel, but as it is modeled on Daniel Dafoe's genre birthing Robinson Crusoe, the title is in homage to the 18th century classic.

Fast forward to the mid 20th century when the inspiration flowed on to produce the science fiction series Lost in Space. John and Maureen Robinson, together with their children Judy, Penny and Will get marooned far from Earth. The setting changed, but the story was the same. A family faced with dangerous isolation has to work together to survive. It's a simple and very appealing idea. 1960's television shows were not renowned for sophisticated special effects, but the science (spaceships and aliens etc) only really had a supporting role.

In 1998, a terrible film adaption of Lost in Space was released. The special effects were a significant improvement on the 1960's television show, but it lacked character. Like many high tech films, it sacrificed substance for style.

When a new Lost in Space series was released in 2018 on  Netflix, I was naturally reluctant to watch it. The original TV series may have finished in the year I was born, but I had seen multiple replays and loved it. I ignored Lost in Space until season one had finished. However, it only took a few episodes for me to fall in love all over again. I've just finished watching season 2, and I'm calling it the best show I've seen since Travelers.

Although, differing in a number of ways from the original series, the Lost in Space reboot triumphs where many science fiction shows fail. Whether it's film, TV or books, I'm mostly interested in characters and relationships, and for me Lost in Space nails it. It has a lot of suspense and breathtaking action sequences which are magnificently supported by special effects, but it's really about the Robinson Family and how they grow stronger and closer together through adversity.

This is the connection: relationship. Leaving aside every imaginable variable, at the core of our existence lies the need for healthy relationships. The quality of our lives has a direct correlation to the quality of our relationships. We were designed to be together and we want that interdependence; we want to belong. Many obstacles and challenges must be faced, and pain is inevitable, but to survive, we need each other.

A colleague of mine criticized Lost in Space because it was 'just a drama in space'. Clearly, the show did not meet her expectations, but for me, I thought 'exactly'. That's why I like it. I feel it. I relate to it. No matter if we, (as represented by the Robinsons), find ourselves lost at sea, lost in space, lost in the jungle or the forest or just plain lost -whatever our circumstances; we grow stronger, wiser and better when we work together to overcome.

RelationDips: octopus balls

Every second Thursday, my friends and I get together for dinner. We call it Connect and Chill. On the alternate Thursdays, we meet to study the bible and to pray. These nights are called Connect and Grow. Chill nights are held in various locations around Darwin; a different restaurant or pub each time. The suburb of Parap was chosen on the most recent occasion, but it was  a toss up between Parap Tavern and Oka Japanese. We took a vote which ended up a tie.

Parap Tavern on Thursday nights has a special: two chicken parmigianas and a jug of beer for $30, but it's not special food. It's pub food. Whichever pub we go to, the menu is pretty much the same. You can get a steak, a parmy, a burger, or barramundi (fish). All of which come with salad and chips (thick cut french fries).The menu varies little, and neither does the quality. It's ordinary food. Safe food, Good food.

The first time I went to Oka for dinner, I saw octopus balls on the menu and knew I had to try them. They could have been testicles or just ball shaped pieces of octopus for all I knew. Either way, I had to try them because I love octopus, and every time I pick up a menu, I look for something I haven't eaten before. Japanese restaurants have standard menus too. Sure, they're more exotic than pub menus but Japanese cuisine is not new to Australia. A set of standard dishes, like chicken teriyaki, will be offered to mostly non Japanese customers.

Not everyone likes Japanese food. Others don't particularly like the uninspiring offerings of hotels like Parap Tavern. The thing is, going out to dinner is never about the food. Not for me anyway. The food I eat is only a side dish accompanying the people I'm eating it with. For that reason I never say no to any restaurant suggestion. I expect to find something I can eat, and probably enjoy-maybe even my next favourite meal, but even if I can't, I didn't go for the food, so I'm never disappointed.

Food and eating brings us together. Most cultures do this exceptionally well. Gathering together with family and friends to enjoy a meal. My wife finds the idea of a pot luck dinner weird, but she comes from a culture in which if you ask someone out to a meal, you are expected to pay. The person you ask can invite someone else along and you will be expected to pay for them too. The concept of ordering individual dishes is also strange to her, as it is to people from many other countries.

Australian's have learned how to share when we eat at Asian restaurants. We've learned to appreciate the finest flavours from across the globe. It is an indisputable benefit of the controversial multiculturalism doctrine that our palettes have been broadened. In culinary terms, our lives have been enriched, but for me, it is still not about the food; it's about the people.

Food should add value to our relationships, regardless of similarities or differences in our tastes and appetites. Food is not just fuel for our bodies, it is lubricant for families, friends and society on the whole. 

Oka lost the vote last time, but we are going to eat there next time. Mark the date: November 14, and join me for some octopus balls. Don't worry about what they are. Just try them, and let's enjoy the experience together. Remember, it's not all about the food.

relationDips: crabs

Fortunately I had a caring tablemate- two of them in fact- who served me by doing the hard yakka of cracking the crab shells and extracting what little meat was contained therein. Had I been left to my own devices, I might not have bothered. In fact, I seldom do trouble myself with crabs or lobsters because I simply don't feel it is worth the effort.

I can be bothered with prawns though, but prawns are easy to peel or shell - whatever the correct term is. Crabs are not. The thing is the meat tastes nice. The problem is there is very little of it. Having been fed for about twenty minutes on tiny little pieces of the sweet white meat, I felt as though I had eaten nothing. As more courses arrived, including tiny shells containing even tinier portions of flesh, I decided I had to contribute to the work. I cracked some shells and picked away, helping my dinner companion finish all the crabs.

Looking at the impressive pile of shells left behind only made me smile, as I fought the desire to cross the road and order a big steak.

My dinner partner loves seafood. It is her first choice and she delights in the labour intensive consumption of crabs. I'm a little bit of a lazy eater. Although I referred to steak, I rarely eat it, preferring rice and pasta dishes instead which are very easy to consume. Had my stomach been big enough I could have easily wolfed down a couple of plates of stir fry ostrich with rice in the same time it took to eat maybe 50g of crab.

As I do, I reflected on this event. Good relationships, like eating crabs, require a lot of work: patient toil to reap sometimes only a small reward. The cumulative effect of these small rewards is invariably quite satisfying. There is no rush to finish the crabs. Crab lovers understand the process takes time and they enjoy it. It's not about eating, it's about enjoying a meal.

Perhaps this is why so many relationships struggle. Firstly, a lack of patience. Secondly, a lack of understanding of the process. Thirdly, an over emphasis on the result, and finally a lack of commitment to the necessary work.

I may never be a crab lover, but I believe I can learn to be better at relationships. Even if I never fully appreciate crabs, I am thankful for this experience of eating them, and I do appreciate the importance of good relationships.

To finish I must honour the servant heart of the beautiful lady who served me that night. Both she and her daughter literally had me eating out of the palm of their hands, because they thought nothing of helping me to enjoy a meal with them. Crack! One incy wincey piece of crab for you...crack! One incy wincey piece of crab meat for me.

Wow! There's a radical idea. What if the husband and wife served each other in humility. Now there's a marriage made in heaven.

Celebrate the Small Things: Hugs

This may cause some discussion amongst readers. Is a hug a small thing? Some would say even a small hug is a big thing. Others might suggest that some hugs aren't as meaningful or poignant as others, and that can't be contested. Although one might think that all hugs are nice, some would disagree: unwanted hugs, for example, are certainly not nice. Anyway, I'm not here to debate the merits or significance of hugs. I'm here to tell you about a recent hug which meant a huge amount to me personally.

Last Sunday night we had a family farewell dinner for my son who was heading off to Europe for a six week holiday. After dinner we hugged, and I wished him well, thinking that would be the last time I saw him before he left. Four days later, the day before departure, I was at his house to pick up my daughter and my son was unexpectedly there: washing clothes and packing. We talked for a bit, and then we hugged again before I said goodbye. It was such a lovely bonus to be able to hug him once more.


I don't see much of my son these days. He's busy with work and uni, and his girlfriend, and that's all okay. He's 19. He has his own life now. I've been letting go of him slowly every since he started school, but I am thankful for the fact that we have a good, close relationship. Despite some dramatic turbulence over the last 12 months or so, due to the break down of my marriage, we are still friends and of course I am very grateful for that. That last hug was serendipity: a small thing and a huge thing simultaneously.

Have you had a nice hug lately?

Photo sources:
http://businessmarketingsuccess.com/2011/04/21/grow-your-business-by-developing-a%E2%80%9Chug%E2%80%9D-your-customer-mentality/
http://www.desicomments.com/desi/hug-day/page/3/

A Lame and Cheesey Blog about Friendship

I recently posted a facetious remark on Facebook in which I lamented the amount of work it takes to develop and maintain a good friendship. In all seriousness, I think it is the effort which makes a genuine friendship such a rare and special commodity.

Last night I had dinner with three old friends. We have decades of shared history under our belts. Although we see each other much less frequently than we used to, there is no doubt in my mind that my relationship with each of these three guys will last all of our days on Earth.  I love them, and I appreciate their friendship more than words can say.These friendships are among the greatest gifts I have been given.

Over dinner, we talked about intimacy, and what a blessing it is to have someone with whom you can be open and honest. We agreed that it is a great privilege to have someone share their heart with you, and that such privilege comes with great responsibility. We also discussed the deep need that everyone has for this kind of emotional intimacy, and how frequently physical intimacy is used as a cheap substitute.

Why do we need to be close to people? Why do we hunger and thirst for good relationships? Why is intimacy so important to us? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Photograph source: http://karensyed.wordpress.com/2011/07/23/success-by-default/cute-friendship-love-wallpaper/