A Dog's Eye: Seekers V Truth Seekers

There are some people who seek truth and some people who just  seek. I want to examine this profound quote of mine by writing about two men from completely different worlds. One is living while the other is long dead. One is a very famous philosopher; the other a moderately famous philosopher. The former was a writer of books, the latter is a writer of songs. Both men thought very deeply and reflectively on life-origins, purpose and endings-before they put pen to paper. 

Here is just one sample of the lyrics from a song written and performed by American metal core band, As I Lay Dying of which one of our two men, Tim Lambesis, is the front man.

"Paralyzed"

What is certain I have ignored

I have spent most of my life

Trying to complicate everything that I believe

So that while paralyzed

In thought I will always have an alibi

Just another excuse (just another excuse)

To hesitate (to hesitate)

Delaying true progress with passivity

The answers that I've found

Are all the same

They uncover questions

That still remain.

The other man, who lived in the 4th century, is Saint Augustine. His mother was a Christian but he dismissed her faith as a crutch for simpletons. He then began a search for higher happiness via the medium of education, investigating the philosophical teachings of Aristotle and Plato and those who followed, to re interpret or re imagine what had already become the chief pursuit of man: happiness. One of the key questions was whether happiness should even be a goal of life, and if so, was it possible to achieve?

Most people nowadays will honestly and easily tell you that one of the main purposes of this thing we call life is happiness. You will no doubt have heard someone, perhaps many people, say as an addendum to a conversation about choices and consequences 'as long as you are happy.'

Augustine searched everywhere for the elusive key to happiness-the meaning of life, if you prefer. In the end, like Solomon he found nothing truly worthy of his attention. Every thing was vanity and chasing after the wind. Naturally this discovery made both men miserable. Augustine ultimately returned to his faith and wrote his most famous book, The City of God,  in which he very clear outlines the case for why the earthly quest for happiness is an exercise in futility. The lasting influence of Augustine on the universal Christian church cannot be overstated. At age 76, he died a champion of the Christian faith and remains so to this day.

As I lay Dying frontman, Tim Lambesis seems to have been on a journey himself, and this is most clearly seen in his very honest and introspective lyrics. His struggles with faith resulted in him abandoning his belief in God, and hiring someone to kill his wife after their marriage broke down. The hit did not occur, but Lambesis,was arrested and charged with conspiracy to murder. He was later convicted and spent six years in prison, before rejoining his band and producing another high quality metal core album: Shaped by Fire. His current standing on matters of faith is unknown and entirely his own business.

For most people the search for happiness as the ultimate goal and purpose of life results in disappointment, at best, or devastation at worst. Although, the search for happiness is doomed to failure, still we pursue it. Everyone searches for meaning in life, for happiness to help ease the inevitable pain, but not all of these seekers find what they are looking for.

When Jesus said that those who seek would find what they were looking for, he wasn't talking about happiness. What are you looking for? And what kind of seeker are you? 

The Worst Christmas ever

I love Christmas. I think I love it more as an adult than I did when I was a  child but I can't really remember what I thought when I was a child. I love Christmas because it is a celebration of everything good. It represents the things we all want from life. Hope, peace and happiness. It is meaningful because of Christ. For me, nothing is meaningful without Jesus.

Sadly, Christmas like all things in this corrupt and fallen world has become, for many people, a sad time. For example, people who have had bad things happen at Christmas: loss of loved ones, relationship breakdowns etc. Someone told me recently that she did not want to put up a Christmas tree because it brought bad luck, and I scoffed even as I struggled, and am struggling to find joy this Christmas. I'm trying but it's really hard.

In 1991 I was alone in Thailand where they do not celebrate Christmas. That was my worst Christmas. I fear this year will surpass it. My personal life is a mess, and I am unhappy most of the time. The extreme emotional highs and lows I have experienced this year have left me jaded and anxious about the future. I have made some bad decisions this year and I am living with the consequences of those choices. I have to accept this, and try to find myself again. I have to remember who I am in Christ.

I pray that things will get better and I believe they will, but it's hard. Very hard. Peace, happiness and hope. God help me to have a Merry Christmas. Maybe I should stop thinking about myself so much.

Crap Parenting

The most important job which any man or woman will ever hold is that of parent. Being a mother or father is an incredibly difficult and demanding job. Although the duties undergo significant changes along the way, parenting is a life long career. Once you have a child, you are committed until you die, or until they die. You will more than likely receive no financial reward, and at different stages perhaps not even much praise for your work. Your heart will be broken multiple times, you will suffer anguish and anxiety, you can expect sleepless nights, an overwhelming workload and a paucity of gratitude.

                                                

You will bear most of the heavy, heavy load of responsibility for the upbringing of a good person and a citizen. You will carry the weight of occasionally naive and unrealistic expectation. Your stomach will be twisted into knots which threaten to cripple you as you make decisions for another person.

I love being a dad. I have two children, teenagers now, and they are beautiful people who care about other people. They demonstrably love me and my wife, and each other. They live purposeful, busy lives, working, studying, playing and socializing, and they don't get into trouble. They don't get into trouble because they don't look for it. They are sensible and sensitive, and they make good decisions. They are forgiving and brave.

Are these awesome children my handiwork? Are they my legacy? Am I defined by what I have done for them, and to them, and who I am to them? Can I take full responsibility for the people they have become? Of course not, but as a father, a parent, I have played the role God assigned to me, and I have done my best to raise my children to love God and to love others.

The pain I have experienced for them, and at times because of them, is nothing at all compared to the joy they have given me. My life would be so shallow and meaningless without them. Through them, and through fathering them, I have learned so much about myself and the God who blessed me with them. To love is to suffer, but I suffer gladly because they are worth it: the happiness they bring, and the rich satisfaction I feel sharing their lives, the pleasure and fulfilment that comes from being a dad is the single greatest thing in my life.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on being a parent, even if you are not one.

This post was inspired by a story I read about the poor quality of modern parenting. Read it here. crap parenting

Photo sources:

http://parentingbeyondpunishment.com/panel-discussion-parenting-without-violence/

http://www.kveller.com/blog/parenting/what-i-really-think-about-attachment-parenting/

http://www.parentsareimportant.com/

When Opportunity Knocks

I've been posting articles here every week for around five years, and last year I wrote 26 in April alone for the A-Z Challenge. Incidentally, I have signed up again for this year's challenge, and I will be posting articles related to my latest novel, Ashmore Grief.

I write to a very small audience whose thoughts are most often unknown to me, and although that is disappointing, I write mainly for myself. I'm not really a mainstream kind of man. I'm a Square Peg who most of the time feels exactly like my tag says, "like I don't really belong." I write because often it is the best way for me to express myself and to explore life as I see it and experience it.

Today, I just want to give some unasked for advice. To those of you who are being presented with an opportunity and you aren't sure if you should take it.

If it sounds good and you want to go for it, then go for it. Imagine how good it could be. Don't think the worst, dream the best. Don't be afraid. Don't confuse fear with prudence. Fear can be a thief.

Open your heart and take a chance because the only way to grow your heart is to share it with others. Grab the opportunity offered to you and watch your heart grow. The more you love, the more you will be able to love. Don't hold back. Don't hide from your feelings.

Happiness is hard to find. If you can find someway to be happy without hurting anybody, including yourself, then don't be a spectator, grab it with both hands and play the game of life. The greater the risk, the greater the reward.

Are you Happy?

Today is Mother's Day in Australia. My Mum has brought me untold happiness. She was the first to make me happy. She showed me what happiness was, and how to find it. She also taught me how to make others happy. Happy Mother's Day, Mum. This post is dedicated to you.

While everyone would readily agree that happiness is good thing, actually defining the word is more difficult.


Is happiness a cause or an effect? In other words, is it an intrinsic quality or is it the result of external stimuli? Many things makes me happy. My team recovered from a 0-16 deficit in last night's game to record a 24-16 victory. When I heard this news, I was happy. I didn't see the game because I was dining with friends. Their company made me happy. I enjoyed the food and the conversation. I felt happy before I even arrived there, in anticipation of the happiness that spending time with my friends would bring. My answer therefore, is that happiness is the outcome of pleasurable circumstances. Our happiness depends to a large extent on the happiness of others, especially our family and friends.

Although we all know happy people, happiness, for most people, tends to wax and wane. It comes and goes. Life is a mixed bag of lollies: a collection of sweet, sour and downright unpalatable experiences. Some address the fleeting and often fickle nature of happiness by contrasting it with joy, which is said to be a more settled and permanent state of happiness, and one which is not dependent on circumstances. That distinction is probably a semantic illusion.

This is how I define happiness: pleasure, peace, contentment. How would you define it? What makes you happy?

Photograph credits:
http://socialpsychologyeye.wordpress.com/2011/07/24/the-pursuit-of-happiness/
www.obstacol.com

A Mocker and a Brawler

Had a few drinks this festive season? Had a few more than you should have on occasion? Wished you didn't have that much? Wished you hadn't have done what you did, or said what you said because you drank more than you should have? Think that everyone does it, so it's okay? Tired of all these questions?

Lindeman's used to advertise their wine with the slogan, 'the one purpose of wine is to bring happiness'. According to the Bible 'wine is a mocker and beer a brawler, and whoever is led astray by them is not wise.'(Proverbs 20:1) From Noah, to the man passed out drunk in the gutter last night, the misuse of alcohol, the abuse of alcohol, has caused massive problems in society throughout the ages, by stealing the ability of individuals to control their words and actions.

One in five deaths in Australia, and 30% of road traffic deaths each year are alcohol related. One half of all assault hospitalisations and nearly 60% of victim reported crime are alcohol related.40% of people arrested by police blamed alcohol for their offences. Half the alcohol being consumed in Australia each year is being consumed at levels which exceed safe drinking guidelines, leading to thousands of deaths and injuries. 70% of the latter go unreported.

So wine, and alcohol of all varieties, brings happiness. Happiness is a worthy pursuit isn't it? Not if it's your only goal, and not if the use or especially the abuse of alcohol is the only way you can find it. Alcohol doesn't fix problems, in fact it often causes them, or makes them worse. If booze is your best medicine, then you are really sick. Alcohol is not a healer. Our heavy drinking culture is a festering sore which is infecting us all.

'Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has strife? Who has complaints? Who has needless bruises? Those who ,linger over wine, who go to samples of mixed bowls of wine. Do not gaze at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it goes down smoothly. In the end it bites like a snake and poisons like a viper. They hit me, you will say, but I am not hurt. They beat me but I don't feel it! When will I wake up so I can find another drink?' (Proverbs 23:29-32, 35)

The Necessity of Lies

In the Ricky Gervais film, The Invention of Lying, nobody in the whole world tells lies. They don't even know what a lie is. There is no word for truth because truth can only be defined in relation to its opposite. There is no trickery, no deception, no falsehood, no pretense and no fiction.

Imagine such a world where advertising is factual and straightforward. The slogan for Pepsi is: when they don't have Coke. Visualize a world where there are no movies other than historical documentaries made by the Lecture film company, and read to camera by serious academic looking types. Think of a world where people are offended, wounded and humiliated on a daily basis because of the dearth of sensitivity and tact. Put yourself in a world where everybody says exactly what's on their mind whenever they want to. Where truth is the only option. Anybody want to live there?

Truth is upheld by most people, in most societies, as a quality of infinite worth. It is to be cherished and treasured, honored and protected. However, there is nowhere on earth like the fictional town in The Invention of Lying where there is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The people there are uncreative, motivated by pure selfishness, and are without hope because there is only absolute truth.

When Ricky Gervais' character lies to his mother about the after life in order to comfort her on her death bed, she dies in peace. Her fear disappears and she fades blissfully into eternity. When news of this lie spreads from the hospital to the whole town and then to the whole world, it's a mind blowing revelation which shows us how desperate people are for hope. They latch on to the lie about a wonderful afterlife and hold it tight because it's a beautiful lie. It gives them hope and makes them happy.

The Invention of Lying is a very funny film, but it is also very profound. A world without lies would be horrible but a world without truth would be equally bad. A can of worms has now been opened. When is a lie okay or even necessary? When is it vital? And if truth is absolute then how can we draw lines of relativity in the sand, and allow everyone to decide for themselves when truth should be used? How can we safely allow the selective application of such a powerful instrument? Is truth a healing balm or a hammer?

Does anyone see a problem here?