Saturday, December 20, 2014

The Worst Christmas ever

I love Christmas. I think I love it more as an adult than I did when I was a  child but I can't really remember what I thought when I was a child. I love Christmas because it is a celebration of everything good. It represents the things we all want from life. Hope, peace and happiness. It is meaningful because of Christ. For me, nothing is meaningful without Jesus.

Sadly, Christmas like all things in this corrupt and fallen world has become, for many people, a sad time. For example, people who have had bad things happen at Christmas: loss of loved ones, relationship breakdowns etc. Someone told me recently that she did not want to put up a Christmas tree because it brought bad luck, and I scoffed even as I struggled, and am struggling to find joy this Christmas. I'm trying but it's really hard.

In 1991 I was alone in Thailand where they do not celebrate Christmas. That was my worst Christmas. I fear this year will surpass it. My personal life is a mess, and I am unhappy most of the time. The extreme emotional highs and lows I have experienced this year have left me jaded and anxious about the future. I have made some bad decisions this year and I am living with the consequences of those choices. I have to accept this, and try to find myself again. I have to remember who I am in Christ.

I pray that things will get better and I believe they will, but it's hard. Very hard. Peace, happiness and hope. God help me to have a Merry Christmas. Maybe I should stop thinking about myself so much.

1 comment:

  1. Sorry to hear of your sadness this Christmas. I know how it can be.
    I think you are right about not thinking of your own needs so much. It is a much better blessing by thinking of others especially at Christmas.
    Life tends to get in the way of personal happiness especially when consequences show up for things we have done. It's a shame we don't think first before heading away from our true beliefs.
    Prayer is the answer and be the man you would prefer to be.
    Take care of your family and yourself. Perhaps next Christmas will be a better one for you.
    Remember, Christmas is about the birth of Jesus and not our personal wants.