Kingly Kids

Of course I am not going to complain about children. Children are wonderful...generally speaking. They are a source of both agony and ecstasy, and everything in between for parents, but I believe that children are our future. (sorry about that: I couldn't help myself.)

There are nearly 4 trillion blogs devoted to children but Square Pegs is not one of them. However, this is a whingefest and we all complain about children. Our own children. Other people's children. Even the cutest of kids can be pretty annoying so they are worthy of inclusion in this themed blogging challenge.


Specifically, I want to complain about kids who act like, and/or are treated like kings. The television channel must be changed to appease the child. A toy must be purchased to meet its demands. A separate meal must be prepared to ensure the child eats. An inconvenient trip to the supermarket is necessary to satisfy its requirements. Detours and pit stops on road trips. White flags to nagging. I could go on.

Children should be taught that they are important but, and it's a big but, they must also learn their place. Children who are treated like royalty grow into brats, and brats terrorise us all. Little brats become big brats, and the world has enough brats already. (Also I have used the word 'brat' enough already.)

Advice to parents: Dads should be kings, mums should be queens and children should be children, and do what they are told.

What is your opinion of children who think the world revolves around them? What of parents who allow their children to rule their lives?

Photo sources and further reading:
http://mochadad.com/2009/03/10-signs-your-children-are-brats/
http://blog.choremonster.com/choremonster-vs-a-nation-of-brats/

Defacto Parents

The Latin expression "de facto" means "according to the fact" and refers to a situation as it actually is, regardless of what the law specifies. It is most commonly used with respect to defacto marriages in which couples are living together in a long term committed relationship but are not actually married. I would like to suggest that teachers are defacto parents for our children.


Children spend a lot of time at school under the supervision of teachers, but a significant chunk of that school day does not involve academic instruction. Even while students are receiving formal lessons they are still being managed or babysat. Children are babysat in the playground before school and during the lunch and recess breaks. They may need to be babysat if their classmates are participating in a paid dance lesson by a visiting teacher, for example, and they have not paid, and must therefore sit in the hall and watch, and do worksheets. When the music van arrives to entertain and inform the children, as well as sell them music lessons, the class teacher has nothing to do but babysit. In class, during Crunch 'n' Sip time, children deliver their news to their classmates while they eat fruit, and either listen or don't listen, quietly. The teacher is babysitting. 

Teachers don't just teach and schools don't just provide academic training for our children. We send them to school to be taught and to be looked after so that we don't have to teach them or babysit them all day. To be fair to parents, there are many things we can't teach them, either because we lack the knowledge or are devoid of the necessary skills and temperament to teach effectively. We love our children but do we really want to spend all day with them, every day? We've got our own interests and pursuits: work or leisure. So we need free babysitting, and as a bonus, our children actually learn a huge amount about a whole lot of stuff.


They not only gain knowledge and skills but also values, and it is this last area of acquisition which is by far the most important. Those universally accepted values which we are required to not only know but to practice, and which transform us into loving, caring and respectful citizens, are either taught or reinforced at school. Do we want teachers imparting values to our children? Do we trust them? Do we even care? As long as they are being babysat, as long as they are safe and happy, does it really matter what else happens at school? What is a parent? What is a teacher?

Familiarity Breeds Contempt

There is something that both amazes and pleases many parents, at the same time, about their children's behaviour. Your son for example, spends some time at a friend's place and you speak to the friend's parent, thanking them for looking after your son, and they say, it was a pleasure having him. No trouble at all! He's so quiet. You ask yourself: who are they talking about? Not my son. It couldn't be. Quiet? He's not quiet at home.

Hands up if you've ever had that experience? It's not that much of a mystery at all really. Most children subconsciously modify their behaviour depending on their circumstances. They reserve their worst behaviour for the people they know best: their parents. Most of those children grow into adults who consciously alter their behaviour depending on the situation in which they find themselves. Do you only show your worst to the people you know best? Familiarity breeds contempt. Ouch! That shouldn't be true, but it is.

In different groups of people, we act differently. Especially when we are new to that group. Or is just me? Am I the only one who bites my tongue when I strongly disagree with someone I have just me, and with whom I am going to have to spend more than five minutes? Aren't we all naturally more relaxed and friendly when the people we are with are chilled and amiable? Am I the only one who doesn't say much until he figures out the dynamics of a new group?

Sometimes I actually admire those people who apparently aren't bound by the aformentioned conventions. They act the same, speak the same to all people, in every situation. They are seemingly so comfortable with themselves that they can be themselves all the time. Or is it a lack of self awareness and sensitivity rather than a supreme sense of comfort in their own skin, that makes them act so?

Take the guy who drops the F-bomb regardless of who hears it. Or the woman whose breasts always overflow her low cut dresses. Or the man who makes tasteless jokes, which he thinks are funny, just to break the ice. What about the woman who laughs like a woodpecker, or the fella who has to virtually touch his nose to yours in order to speak with you? Or how about those who have loud personal conversations in public places?

When does 'just being yourself' end, and causing offence, or public nuisance, begin? When does adjusting your behaviour, (controlling yourself) out of sensitivity or simple shyness or caution end, and being a faker, or a game player begin?

If you have simple answers to these questions, I'd love to hear them but Solomon's been dead for thousands of years, and I'm just bumbling through life by the grace of God. Sometimes I don't know who I am.

Great Expectations

School awards ceremonies, a.k.a presentation nights are notoriously dull. Dutiful yet proud parents rock up to these events wishing they could fast forward all the other bits to get to the moment when their child receives an accolade. Prepared for boredom as a succession of names are read out, and ready for lame attempts at humour from the emcee, they endure the momentary pain for the somewhat longer lasting pleasure of seeing their child's achievements formally recognised.

These occasions almost always have a highlight or two. I remember one ceremony I attended in which a Year 6 boy come up to receive an award for maths and was audibly heard to say, 'But I hate maths!'

The other highlight on that night, was watching the same boy, and a Year 6 girl snagging nine or ten awards between them. With academic achievements, sports awards and library service recognition, these two were clearly the stars of the show.

I recall thinking at the time that they were the big frogs preparing to jump out of the pond of primary school and into the lake of high school the following year. I wonder how well they did. What sort of expectations would have been placed upon them? By themselves? Their peers? Their parents? How did they respond?

Most parents want their children to do well at school or at sport, but some mothers and fathers expect big things. Early success is a portent of future greatness. The eager anticipation that these children will produce glorious fruit as older children, and then as adults can hang above their heads like a storm cloud. Some parents attempt to live their lives again through their children to try to somehow atone for their own perceived failures, or lack of success. The weight of these often unrealistic and unfair expectations crushes many young spirits by sucking the fun out of their lives.

God does not place such expectations on his children. As a parent who expects great things from God, my expectations for my children revolve around them finding meaning and satisfaction in living in obedience to God's will, and in them learning to love God and others more than themselves. Who they are matters more to me than what they do. God is more interested in our characters than our achievements but for those who follow Him, and love like Him, the awards ceremony in Heaven will be the most awesome party of all time. I hope to see you there.