Winning Is Everything

Everyone has heard the saying, "It's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game" or variations on that theme. One common retort to that maxim made by people who really like to win, is to say that only losers say winning is not important. The more ruthless among us might respond with "winning is the only thing that matters."

So how important is winning? Is it more important than playing fairly and within the rules? More important than playing with the application of maximum effort, yet still being able to accept defeat gracefully? Is it more important than playing for the fun it?

I am a competitive person. I play games to win, and if I don't try to win, it isn't fun. If my opponent isn't trying to win it also diminishes my enjoyment. I'm a stickler for the rules and I believe I also demonstrate what is called "good sportsmanship", but I do like to win. Winning is more fun than losing. Trying to win infuses the contest with meaning and drives me to do my best.

Winning equals success. Losing is the same as failing. We talk about this kind of success in sport, in business and arguments, and even in personal relationships where the rules of fair play are no less pertinent. Most people would agree that winning is an important and worthwhile ambition...but not at any cost. Unethical or immoral behavior is not an acceptable way to win. Winning by any possible means usually suggests the employment of foul means, and this is not regarded as okay. It isn't cool to win by cheating, and people don't like ungracious winners either.

Winning is not everything in sport, business or personal relationships. People who think it is, are justifiably criticized and held in low esteem. There was however, one instance in which winning was everything: the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Christ's death and resurrection are historical facts. This is the Christian interpretation of those facts. Jesus not only died for our sins but defeated the power of sin and death when he rose from the grave. If Jesus had not won this victory for us, we would have all been lost. If Jesus has not conquered death, as we believe, then our faith in Him is useless. Jesus victory means everything to us. When it comes to the eternal destination of our souls, and the freedom to live this life free from the tyranny of sin...winning is most certainly everything.

What's you view on winning? Are you competitive?

Photo sources:

http://www.npr.org/2013/02/25/172879971/the-science-of-being-top-dog

http://www.couriermail.com.au/sport/head-to-head-is-winning-gold-so-important-yes/story-fn9di2lk-1226445022553

http://mycrazylifeasanavywife.blogspot.com.au/2012/11/god-is-preparing-you-today-for-victory.html

Obsession

Last night I finally watched Baz Luhrman's The Great Gatsby. I say finally, because I tend to resist much hyped films, and also because in this case I had to overcome anti Baz Luhrmansim. While Australia was okay, Moulin Rouge and Romeo and Juliet are two of the worst films I have ever had to endure. In the case of Romeo and Juliet, I elected not to endure. However I digress. I liked The Great Gatsby even though I felt it was marred by excessive theatricality. The film is a tragic tale of obsession, and it got me thinking about how a person's thoughts can be dominated by a persistent idea, image or desire. And I wondered whether obsession could be a good thing, when typically it is perceived as a negative characteristic.

J. Gatsby was obsessed with a woman. Nothing new there. Men have been losing their heads over women, and vice-verca, since the Fall of Man. He built an empire via nefarious means all for the benefit of crowning the incarnation of his vision with the woman of his dreams. This one compulsion drove him through five years of struggle and intense loneliness. His ambition made him wealthy and famous, but did it deliver him the object of his obsession?

Is obsession the only way to success? In order to achieve your dreams, do you have to forego attention to everything else in order to completely focus on doing whatever it takes to get whatever it is that you want. Persistence, dedication and commitment are good qualities which the obsessed may have, but there is a tipping point. When ambition or even just excessive interest in a particular thing runs off the rails of rationality."Clinical psychologists think of obsessions as unhealthy fixations with objects, people, or activities. They are abnormal because they impair our capacity to love and work." Obsessions throw our lives out of whack. Obsession causes us to lose perspective, and to make decisions which provide instant gratification but may not be in the long term best interests of others or ourselves.

The word obsession is inextricably burdened by negative connotations, yet who could argue that the achievement of success, the realization of one's dreams, requires at least some degree of those qualities which are embodied by that very word.

What do you think? Is obsession a good or bad thing? When have you been obsessed? Personally, I am moderately obsessed with the acquisition of a vast number of devotees of my work. Thanks for reading and please leave a comment.

Further reading:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mr-personality/201107/what-makes-your-obsession-healthy-or-unhealthy-is-your-personality
http://thoughtcatalog.com/madison-moore/2013/07/obsession-the-key-to-success/
Photo source.
http://www.retailprophet.com/blog/obsession-and-conflict-the-essence-of-extraordinary-brands/

What do our Schools Produce?

The idea of successful learners suggests achievement. To be considered successful what must one do? How is success measured? Is society's view of what may be deemed “success” as important, more important or less important than the individual student’s own conception of success?

Although “Successful learners” is a little vague, significant benchmarks have been introduced into the Australian education system, such as NAPLAN, which do a reasonable job of measuring academic achievement. The question is, I guess, is academic achievement our only goal?

What about confident and creative students? It could be easily argued that confidence is a non academic measure of success. Creativity, however, is not a measure of success. It is debatable whether or not creativity can be taught, or even enhanced in those individuals who are naturally creative. Some people are successful without being especially creative.

Hardworking people who may or may not be creative, can be, and often are, very successful. In my view, perhaps turning out creative individuals should not be a goal of the education system. I just don’t know whether you can create creative students.

Active and informed are good goals but what does active mean exactly? Are we expecting our students to all become champions of various causes, members of political parties, unionists, community volunteers? I guess that’s not unreasonable. While “active” may be debatable, “informed” is not. Ignorance is one of the biggest problems we have, not only in our schools, but in society in general. It’s one thing for students not to want to know what’s going on, to be socially aware, quite another for educators to accept, in any way shape or form, the questionable maxim, “ignorance is bliss”.

I think they only thing missing from these goals is diligence but I suppose it is implied in conceptions of success and active involvement. As a Christian I wonder where is the mention of making a primary goal of education the development of loving and caring people who respect others and work to promote peace in society by building good relationships. Perhaps such talk is too “Christian” or “religious” for our secular system.

Great Expectations

School awards ceremonies, a.k.a presentation nights are notoriously dull. Dutiful yet proud parents rock up to these events wishing they could fast forward all the other bits to get to the moment when their child receives an accolade. Prepared for boredom as a succession of names are read out, and ready for lame attempts at humour from the emcee, they endure the momentary pain for the somewhat longer lasting pleasure of seeing their child's achievements formally recognised.

These occasions almost always have a highlight or two. I remember one ceremony I attended in which a Year 6 boy come up to receive an award for maths and was audibly heard to say, 'But I hate maths!'

The other highlight on that night, was watching the same boy, and a Year 6 girl snagging nine or ten awards between them. With academic achievements, sports awards and library service recognition, these two were clearly the stars of the show.

I recall thinking at the time that they were the big frogs preparing to jump out of the pond of primary school and into the lake of high school the following year. I wonder how well they did. What sort of expectations would have been placed upon them? By themselves? Their peers? Their parents? How did they respond?

Most parents want their children to do well at school or at sport, but some mothers and fathers expect big things. Early success is a portent of future greatness. The eager anticipation that these children will produce glorious fruit as older children, and then as adults can hang above their heads like a storm cloud. Some parents attempt to live their lives again through their children to try to somehow atone for their own perceived failures, or lack of success. The weight of these often unrealistic and unfair expectations crushes many young spirits by sucking the fun out of their lives.

God does not place such expectations on his children. As a parent who expects great things from God, my expectations for my children revolve around them finding meaning and satisfaction in living in obedience to God's will, and in them learning to love God and others more than themselves. Who they are matters more to me than what they do. God is more interested in our characters than our achievements but for those who follow Him, and love like Him, the awards ceremony in Heaven will be the most awesome party of all time. I hope to see you there.

The Struggle Within

With apologies to Metallica for stealing their song title, I want to start by saying that I am not too hard on myself. People who know me often think that is the case when I start talking about my faults. The truth is that I have a totally realistic view of myself based on all the available evidence. I neither think too highly, nor too lowly of myself. I am honest with myself about myself.

Ironically that is part of the problem I want to write about. I spend a lot of time deep in thought. You could describe me as introspective but that is only one piece of the puzzle that is me. I also ponder other people and other situations. I analyze and mentally investigate life, and the way people interact with it and with each other. It's entirely possible that I spend too much time thinking but that is not a flaw or an excuse for inaction. It is merely a product of my life. I have time to think, so I do.

When I returned to work from long service leave, I realized that I had become excessively results driven. Overly achievement oriented. That is not necessarily a bad thing unless any lack of success, either perceived or actual, begins to cripple you and deter you from action. I am not easily put off. If I believe something is worth pursuing then I invest in the chase. I run. I hunt. Stubborn resolve comes easily to me but I am not very single minded. Sometimes I want the gold without having to dig for it.

People who achieve success in their chosen endeavours are single minded. They make tremendous sacrifices to get the results they want. Consider the discipline required by elite athletes. They compete to win and that takes dedication and discipline. It also takes confidence and ability and for most, assistance of some sort. Take these five ingredients and combine them in a bowl. Forty minutes in the oven and you have a Victory Cake. As a beaten egg binds the other ingredients of a regular edible cake together, so does single mindedness bind the ingredients of the Victory Cake. I want to eat the Victory Cake but soomtimes I can't be bothered following the recipe.

That's why I am not very successful. Even as I write this I am thinking about other things that I should be doing. The laundry, for example, is a short walk from me and at the end of a typically busy week for my family, is in desperate need of attention. It's messed up. Thinking about that makes it hard for me to write this because I am not totally focussed on the task.

The Struggle Within is the battle that rages constantly in my mind between what I am doing and what I would either like to be doing, or what I should be doing. It is also the fight between what I am thinking about and what I should be thinking about. I am acutely aware of this conflict and it is not an imagined one. It is real, and it is really tiring.

The funny thing is, I like the way I operate because I think it demonstrates balance. I am not so completely intent on any one thing that other important things in my life get ignored. I take care of my responsibilities before I pamper to my sensibilities. I do the 'have-to' before the 'want to'. Business before pleasure. Duty before delight. Work comes before play.

And now I come at long last to the point. I have a dream: a fantasy which involves the abolition of the distinctions mentioned above. In the film Parenthood, Karen and Gill Buckman have a heated argument one afternoon when she reveals she's pregnant with their fourth child and he announces that he has quit his job. Finally he says he has to go and take his son to baseball practice. The discussion has resolved nothing, achieved nothing except to get both Karen and Gill even more upset than they were, so she wants him to stay and talk some more. She wants to sort it out. It's important to her and its important to Gill also but he has something else important to do. A competing responsibility. Gill says 'I have to go.' Karen replies with a question, 'Do you have to?' Gill says, 'My whole life is have to.'

There it is. My whole life is 'have to'. I sqeeze in a few 'want tos' here and there but I am driven by my responsibilities. For me this is a huge problem because I am not enjoying it. I don't want to ditch my responsibilities but I would like to enjoy them more. I wouldn't mind having some fun.

The solution is simple, at least theoretically. I must convert all the 'have tos' in my life into 'want tos'. That is my dream: the obliteration of the division between what I have to do and what I want to do. I don't even know if it's possible but I'm going to try.