Snake Oil 1: It's available in many bright colours

Kia have improved their reputation over recent years, as have many bottom end Asian cars. Remember the days when Toyota, Mazda and Nissan all produced cars which were commonly described with the unflattering and somewhat racist epithet: "Jap crap"? You don't remember? Well, I was there, believe me. My peers only bought big cars, usually Holdens or Fords, with big engines, and we derided Asian made buzz boxes for their low quality and poor performance. They were the antithesis of cool.

Hyundai was the next Asian manufacturer to enter the fray. South Korean "Jap crap". Look, when I was in primary school I thought Asia was a country. Anyway, Hyundai has now transitioned from lowly regarded buzz box to popular, high quality vehicles for everyone. 

There are many others of course. In Australia, you can buy cars from all over the world, but I'm getting off track. I wanted to talk about Kia, another of the South Korean vehicles available Down Under.

Kia has a current ad on TV for the Rondo. It's a new model, but evidently all the consumer needs to know about it is that it comes in different bright colours. Of course, it is very typical for car ads nowadays to focus on looks and lifestyle rather than unnecessary mechanical specifications.

The ad features a Rondo going through a car wash, and then being accompanied outside the car wash by giant dancing mops. It makes me laugh. I know it is only designed to get me interested enough to do some research online or go to a dealer, but I wonder how successful this ad has been/will be.

Advertising is a funny beast, but it got me thinking about my choice of car. I picked my current car because of its appearance. I trusted the Ford brand, so really I only cared about the price and how good it looked. Taste in car styling is an individual thing, but I suspect very few people buy cars which are visually unappealing to them. Damn, we really are a superficial mob, aren't we?

Why did you choose your current car? Have you ever purchased a car just for its good looks?

Sideswiped #CTST

There are occasions, and I expect there always will be, when Dad comes to the forefront of my thoughts. I had one recently whilst I was standing at the counter of Repco exchanging the wrong headlight globe (the cheap one) for the right headlight globe (the expensive one). I related to the sales assistant Dad's words to me when I bought my first car.

'Are you ready to always have your hand in you pocket son?'

I said yes, without having the vaguest idea of how much it would actually cost me in the future to buy, run and maintain cars.

So I paid for the expensive globe, then take it home and fit it myself. (I was going to make this post about this awesome first time achievement of mine, but I didn't want to sound boastful.)

The headlight globe was only one of the 'unknown to me' problems which prevented Mr MVR inspection officer from passing my car fit for registration. The other was two front tyres-worn on the inside. But wait, there's more: a brake light globe, which I replaced only to have the brake switch fail, necessitating the calling of an auto electrician.

Bottom line? I spent what I had budgeted for the registration fees on repairs to get it registered. I can hear your voice Dad. I can't say I wasn't warned.

All that came on top of my car, under the care of another driver, being sideswiped by another vehicle under the complete absence of care of a third party. That was last week. Thankfully, insurance will take care of that one.

(smile) (big smile) (bigger smile).

Celebrate the small things: a bit of greenery

Cities are not typically associated with trees. I know most cities have parks and they have trees, but, for me anyway, when I think of cities I think of tall buildings and lots of cars of people. Noise, street signs, advertising, busyness etcetera, which I think is the reason I like Darwin. Darwin doesn't really feel like a city.

There are tall buildings: offices, hotels and apartments, and there are cars and people, but not many. It's pretty quiet all around. It's also quite green. Our street, which is a short narrow one running between two main streets, has trees and even a grass verge to separate the sidewalk from the road. The two aforementioned streets are lined with trees, serious trees: large and leafy ones which overhang the road and provide shade for the smokers.

Darwin is a green city. During the dry season ubiquitous built-in irrigation systems sustain the faunic (another new word there - when will this end?) thirst, and of course when the rains come, the city shifts to a whole new level of green.

Finally, this week, I am thankful for the arrival of green into our apartment. Jessie decided we needed some plants on the balcony because, she said, it will help keep the apartment cool - even though that's what the air conditioning is for (I didn't say). I like the plants because they make this place feel like a home instead of a hotel apartment.

I reckon out of everything you can do to make a house feel like a home, adding plants is right up there. What do you think?

Women's fashion, milk and cars?

I’m based in Darwin now, but still doing the same job: teaching English as a Second Language. I now work with international students who are a completely different kettle of fish from the adult migrants I previously taught. My class is mostly comprised of Taiwanese students, with a couple of Koreans, and a young man from Hong Kong, and a young lady from Spain thrown in to disrupt the flow of conversation in Mandarin.

Today we were working on the phrase ‘I’m surprised by…’ As we’ve been tackling present perfect tense, I asked the students to think about what has surprised them about Australia since they moved to Darwin. None of the students have lived in Darwin for more than a year, some for only a few weeks. Their answers to the question were very interesting so I thought I’d share some of them with you, in no particular order.

Since coming to Darwin, what has surprised you?

1. How many people sit on the grass, or on the ground.
2. How early the shops close.
3. How big the houses and the land are.
4. How cheap cars are.
5. How cheap milk is.
6. How behind the times women’s fashion is.
7. How many traffic lights there are on highways.
8. How bad pork smells.
9. How relaxed people are.
10. The bad behavior of Aborigines.

 Makes you think, doesn’t it?

A lounge, a bed and a manuscript

I started sending out query letters for my manuscript, Lovesick, at the end of June. As every writer knows, the sending of query letters and the waiting for responses is a tedious and somewhat angst ridden process. One day I am filled with glorious visions of publishing contracts and modest advances, while on other days I worry that no one will like it-not exactly that no one will like it, but that no one will like it enough.

So far, I have received two rejections and three offers of joint venture contracts. I rejected the latter. I was offered traditional publishing contracts for each of my last three novels, and in the case of the most recent, A Muddy Red River, I had a number to chose from. When I read words like 'we think your manuscript is well written, raw and engaging, and we believe it deserves to reach general readership, but...' I immediately think the editor who wrote such words is full of you know what. Words of praise ring hollow when accompanied by offers of joint venture publishing deals. Such offers say 'we like your work, but we don't think we can make any money from sales of it so we want to make money off you (the author) instead.'

One day. I will tell the story of a catastrophic (slight exaggeration) joint venture deal I signed up for, but for now, I'll just say this: I believe in the quality of my work, and I am not going to pay anybody anything to publish it. Therefore my wait continues. In the mean time I have begun work on novel number six, entitled Scorpion's Breath. I'm currently working on chapter 6.

In the famous words of Monty Python's Flying Circus: and now for something completely different, it has been approximately four weeks since I sat on a lounge or sofa, or even in an armchair, about four weeks since I drove a car, five weeks since I slept in a double or queen sized bed, and also thirty five days since I had a hug. There's no need to tell you what I miss most of all.

This is my life, I chose it and I'm living it.

Photo sources:
https://www.writersonlineworkshops.com/courses/query-letter-in-14-days
http://www.godlywriters.com/prepare-yourself-for-rejection/

Celebrate the small things:Trivium and the cool

I love the space inside my car. I love the the look of my car too. Despite its flaws, it's a beautiful thing and it drives well, but it's the space inside that I really love. I love air conditioning, heavy metal music and privacy. These three loves of mine, which are not incidentally my only loves, unite in the space inside my car.

It's hot today, but not inside my car because the a/c is running. In Waves by Trivium is playing and it's the only sound inside my car. I'm alone so no one can tell me to turn it down. This a peaceful place, albeit a mobile one. I'm cool, comfortable and entertained. It's easy to make me happy.

The song is called Of All These Yesterdays, and it speaks of rage  burning the pages of the book of the past, and the ashes covering us. It's a sad, but beautiful song.



These are the little things I'm celebrating today.

Life is not a Roundabout

I remember when that wonderful innovation called "roundabouts" were introduced to our roads and we, as children riding bicycles, considered them a wonderful novelty. There was a time before roundabouts, chicanes, speed humps, pedestrian refuges, and other so called traffic calming devices. In that marvelous era, roads were wide, footpaths were narrow and street furniture was not even a twinkle in the eye of an under-worked town planner.

I seriously doubt whether any of these things are anywhere near as effective as their designers intended, but they do provide an excellent series of analogies for life and the human condition.

Roundabout signs are triangular in shape for a very good reason. Give Way signs are also triangular. As the former came into being along time before the latter the message is clear. Cars approaching roundabouts are supposed to slow down and give way to traffic already in the roundabout. That is the rule. That is the correct way to use a roundabout.

I have observed, and you probably have as well, two other ways drivers use roundabouts. First, they slow on approach, as one should, then they look to the right and when it's clear, they proceed. They don't look to the left or even directly ahead sometimes. In life, it's okay to be cautious, quite sensible in fact, and it's not a bad thing to only look one way...unless it's the wrong way.

The second group approach at speed, ignore the give way sign and drive straight through, oblivious to any other motorists. People get hurt by other people who tear inconsiderately and recklessly through life.

Just because other people have successfully negotiated roundabouts time after time does not mean they are doing it properly. It's likely to be more a case of good luck rather than good management. Look around you. Other people may seem to successfully handle life and its inherent and inevitable problems but looks can be deceiving. And even if they are, it does not automatically follow that they are living life right in God's eyes.

Life is not a roundabout but there is a wrong way and a right way to live.

Windows to the Soul

Everyone has heard the saying that the eyes are the window to the soul but there is another window: bumper stickers. What are people saying about themselves and their view of the world via the stickers they place on, or leave attached to, the rear bumpers or windows of their vehicles?

Some stickers are funny, at least the first two or even three times that you read them. The one that says, "If you can read this, I've lost my caravan", is amusing. Others are more informative, telling you what causes the owner of the car presumably supports, or what footy team they cheer for, or what breed of dog they like. Of course it is not always the case that the sticker on the back of the car in front of you can be used to make an accurate assessment about the owner of the vehicle, but it is natural to make such an assumption. What else would one think?

What am I supposed to think about a man wearing a cowboy hat, and driving a Ford F-350 ute with the following stickers on it: a United States confederate flag, a rodeo sticker, and a sign that says, "keep honking, I'm reloading!" All this paints a pretty clear picture about the bloke and what he's in to, doesn't it?

Some bumper stickers really make you ask the question why. Why would a person put a sticker on their car which says "bad boy" or "bad girl"? Because they are bad and proud of it, or because they want to be bad? What about "zero to bitch in 60 seconds", "no sex, no ride", "gas, grass or ass - no free rides", "get in, sit down, shut up and hang on", or "don't like my driving? dial 1800 eat #@*%" ?

The answer is obvious. The people who put these stickers on their cars, think like that, they identify with the sentiments expressed, they make statements about themselves with those stickers. If you bought a car which had a sticker showing an outline of Australia with the words "*#%@ off we're full", you'd remove the sticker, unless you were a racist like the person who put it there in the first place.

It's hard not to judge people by their bumper stickers, but by plastering their vehicles with such decorations, they are asking for it, aren't they? Inviting judgement. They are not shy or ashamed about having such attitudes. Their bumper stickers are proud declarations, and that's a bit of a worry, don't you think?

Or is it all just harmless fun?