A Dog's Eye: to say goodbye

My Nana died on June 11 aged 96. Last Wednesday, July 4, the funeral was held at Woronora Cemetery, followed by a wake at The Bridge restaurant on Woronora River. The funeral was delayed to allow for family members who were overseas, like myself, to be there to say goodbye to a woman who lived a life few of us who remain could imagine.

I belong to a wonderful extended family and for this I am truly grateful to God who holds all of our lives in his mighty hand.

Here is the speech I delivered at the service* on behalf of my cousins. It was bookended by a terrific eulogy by my mum, and a speech by my son on behalf of the great grandchildren.

How do you encapsulate a life in a few moments. And such a long life as Nana had. The bible says we are given three score and ten years, but he granted Nana nearly five score. Wow. 96 years. How do you summarise such a long and amazing life. Well, I think Mum did a great job in her eulogy.

Think of your own life, the highs and the lows but in between so much of the mundane. What can I say about Nana? I can really only speak about the impact she had on my life, and to a lesser, more general extent, about the impact she had on the lives of my cousins. Imagine living to see your grandchildren grow up and have their own children. Think about what Nana saw, what she experienced in her 96 years. I remember speaking at her 70th birthday party about historical events which occurred in the year she was born: 1922. Think of how she saw the world change so dramatically.

For most of the major moments in our lives, she was there. She lived, she loved and she reveled in the achievements of her grandchildren. I remember the sparkle in her eyes, and her undivided attention when I spoke with her and told her all about what was going on in my life from time time to time. I remember how she filled me in on details from the rest of the family. How she remembered stuff, and how proud she was of all of us. I remember how baffled she sometimes was as well, not because there was anything wrong with her mind, but simply from astonishment I guess. Amazed at what we were doing and what we achieved. How we travelled the world, for example, as though it were nothing more than a family camping trip down to Cudmirrah. How great were those family holidays!

I felt especially close to Nana and Grandad particularly during and as a result of the time I lived with them in Oatley when I started high school. During a tumultuous time for me, I remember Oatley as being a safe place. I remember the peace and the quiet. I remember developing a love for dark chocolate which we ate after dinner while watching TV together. For those six months Nana and Grandad were my parents. When I think of Nana, I think of intelligent and wide ranging conversations about books and politics and life in general. I think about playing Scrabble and cups of tea and bikkies.

We'll all treasure our memories of Nana. What a blessed life we have had and how wonderful that we got to share so much of it with her. Sure, we're sad, but i think most of all we feel grateful. We honour the dead by how we continue to live and live well. There is a saying that while there is life there is hope. Nana is dead, but I think hope is eternal. It goes beyond the grave. Jesus Christ is our eternal hope, and I'm looking forward to seeing Nana again one day.

Rest in peace, Eileen Rayner. We love you and we'll miss you Nana.

*I wrote out the speech, but left it in my pocket as I spoke. Consequently I added and deleted some things. The words above are the best my memory can do to recall what I actually said. It was such an emotional day, but so great. 

Celebrate the small things: a forest of daleks

I woke up feeling angry this morning, and it wasn't because it was Saturday and I didn't have to go to work -I like my job a lot- but it may have had something to do with the dream from which I awoke.

In a small and crowded backpacker hostel, I was telling everyone, during breakfast, about my cystectomy. The reactions of my extremely proximate house mates ranged from indifference to mild interest. Oh no not again.*

So I had some breakfast and decided to go for a walk, a long walk. I had planned to go to the gym, but I had a fairly heavy workout yesterday after work, and suspected the HiFit class I was planning on joining might kill me.

After 45 minutes I was still feeling agitated despite the perfect Dry Season weather and my favourite tunes filling my ears courtesy of one of my best friends: my iPod shuffle. I entered George Brown Botanic Gardens and was moderately intrigued by the African garden, walked through the Monsoon rainforest, and then I saw this.

I took some photos while reciting the words 'exterminate, exterminate' in my head, and proceeded up a hill because there was one available. (Darwin is generally very flat.) Half way up the hill I realized I wasn't angry anymore. The Dalek trees and the exertion of a brisk hill climb had blown the bad vibes away.

This week was the last student free one as the new term starts on Monday. I've had a very productive term break and I'm looking forward to actually teaching again, as opposed to preparing to teach. As usual I have much for which to be thankful, but particularly today, I'm celebrating Darwin's awesome weather, Dalek trees, hills, iPod shuffles and my job.

What do you do with your anger?

* One of the things I've learned about myself over the last few years is that I am overly interested in the opinions/reactions of others- which is incidentally why I should stay off social media. I can be a little childish in wanting attention. When I started writing about the dream, I was struck by the obvious manifestation of this truth in my dream.

Celebrate the small things: My legs work

The incidences of me missing buses has decreased dramatically thanks to the Bus Tracker app about which I have previously raved. However, there are occasions when I still miss out. Like this morning for example, when I arrived on time-meaning before the bus was due-only to discover that I had left my towel and headband behind.

I considered my options. 

1. Go to the gym for my first ever pump class without a sweat towel and my headband.
2. Run home and grab the items and run back to the bus stop.

Option 1 would mean having to hire a gym towel because if you don't have a sweat towel they don't let you train. Option 1 would also have meant using the aforementioned hire towel more frequently than I would have used my own towel because my headband absorbs most of the perspiration produced from my chrome dome.

Option 2 meant running the risk of missing the bus, and generating additional pre-workout sweat and muscle fatigue in the process.

I took option 2 and missed the bus by three hundredths of a second. So I walked to the gym. It took half an hour, but I arrived on time for the class. After the class which hurt quite a bit-in a good way-I walked to the bus stop, but decided a fifteen minute wait was unnecessary. As I had walked to the gym, why not I thought, walk back. And that is what I did.

My legs were a little shaky immediately after the pump class, but certainly more than capable of carrying me home. Today, I am grateful for healthy, fully functional feet and the similarly robust legs to which they are appended.

Celebrate the Small Things

I teach English to adult migrants. Last Thursday I was asked to relieve a colleague for the day to allow her to catch up on her paperwork. Her class is a mix of native and non-native speakers of English at all levels from pre-level 1 to level 3. Such a class is not conducive to effective learning, but due to the numbers of students involved it is necessary. It was an interesting and stimulating challenge, and quite a different experience from my class which is a level 2/3 class of non-native speakers. I'm thankful for the opportunity.

Two days ago I posted my reflections on the A to Z Blogging challenge. I'm glad it's over, but also glad that I participated in it.

Four days ago, my fiance got the results of a needle biopsy which showed no evidence of cancer. Needless to say, I am very thankful for that.

Twelve days ago, I started a sexual integrity course at my church. The decision to do this course was the best decision I have made in the past two years.

Thankful? You bet.