relationDips: junk food and junk sex

You know when you've been snacking all day, and then too close to dinner, you just can't hold on so you buy some Maccas? You get home and your wife has prepared an awesome meal for you, as usual, in fact it's your favourite. The problem is you have lost your appetite. Lost is being kind. You actually murdered your appetite by your lack of self control. What your wife cooked for you out of love now seems pretty unappealing because you filled up on junk.

It's a funny situation, isn't it? It's probably happened to every one at least once. Your wife will notice how lethargically you attempt to eat. She'll probably ask you what's wrong, and you'll probably lie so as to not hurt her feelings. Those white lies...aren't they precious? What relationship saviours they are. If she doesn't say anything, you will kid yourself that she didn't notice and that she's not offended. However, she'll store the information. She'll make a mental note.

You know what else is funny? Have you heard the saying: it doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you come home for dinner. 'Dinner' is of course a euphemism for sex, and this is something guys say to each other or whisper to themselves when they've spent their day filling up on junk sex. And the men laugh and wink at each other knowingly, enjoying the conspiracy.

Junk sex? Dr. Allen Meyer uses this phrase to refer to flirting, fantasy and pornography (the latter two, either with or without masturbation - that lonely act of self indulgence).

You know what's really funny? That saying is total BS. A complete lie. Don't believe me? Ask your wife. Ask her if she's cool with you flirting outrageously with a beautiful young lady at work, and bringing the hormone surge home and letting it out on her. Ask her if she's okay with you ogling every second woman who catches your eye, then enjoying a few lustful moments inside your head with her. Ask her if she's okay with you masturbating while watching pornographic videos, as she sleeps in the next room. She was tired and didn't feel like making love...you poor thing. You have needs. What's a bloke supposed to do?

Ask her if she's okay with you becoming emotionally attached to other women in your life because you spend more time with them than her.

I'll tell you what: it definitely matters where you get your appetite. I was locked into exactly the sort of behaviour I described above for decades, yes decades. The lie has been exposed. The truth is junk sex is rubbish. Not just second best, but off the chart worst option. It rips you off, and it rips your wife off. Keeping all those dirty little secrets in your mind is poisoning your relationship. Your wife deserves better than that, and so do you. Much better.

You've seen how cockroaches scurry away into dark hiding places when a light is turned on. They're afraid of the light, but they'll be back when the light goes out. You have to kill them. They won't return then, will they? Kill those dirty little things. 

Be a real man by giving your wife everything you've got. Can't control your sex drive? Get some help. Drop me a line if you want to talk about it.

Pornography #atozchallenge

 

 



 

 

 

"When I first heard the term 'blue movies', I didn’t know what it meant. I had no idea what they were, but I did know that they were films which women and children did not watch. They provided entertainment for men in converted garages who drank cases of beer as they laughed lustily and conspiratorially. I learned that women disproved of this activity but tolerated it in order to keep the peace. They accepted the necessity of men amusing themselves with the exploitation of women, and they endured it through gritted teeth with a world weary resignation.

That my father had a stash of strange smelling magazines in the bottom of his wardrobe was a curiosity to me: black and white images of nakedness which neither aroused me or repulsed me, but merely interested me. I didn’t understand sex when I began to furtively peruse those magazines, did not even know what the titles Ribald and Bawdy meant. I had no idea why people took their clothes off and allowed themselves to be photographed in strange positions, connecting to each other awkwardly. I read the accompanying stories without understanding."

Lovesick chapter 12

 "Nobody was directing my course in matters of sexuality. My dad was more absent than present, and his best example of manhood was his affection for pornography, carousing and late night boozing. I heard about most of that from loud conversations between my mother and father whenever he arrived home at some ridiculous time of the morning. I figured out that was what men did, and how women reacted to it. They complained but they had to endure it because that’s the way men were. That’s where it went wrong. That’s when I saw male female roles demonstrated in stark and confronting technicolour."

Lovesick chapter 20

For those of you who think pornography is harmless and even helpful in some cases, you are wrong. The size and profitability of the sex industry is a damning testimony of fallen humanity. Society's obsession with sex is a cancer. What God created as an expression of love and intimacy, has become so twisted it is barely recognizable as the beautiful thing He intended it to be.

 

Think pornography is okay? Think again.

 

 

 

  

XXX or XOX

Welcome to Square Pegs all seekers of pornography. Sorry to disappoint you but there is no porn here. I don't like it, but, even though I may have brought you here under false pretences, I do have an important point to make..so hang around. There is a massive difference between XXX and XOX.

Where did these symbols come from and which came first, X for sexually explicit or other extreme material, or X for a sweet kiss? To answer this question, I have undertaken the most extensive course of research ever on Square Pegs.*

It would seem that X was used to denote the strength of liquor, sometime in the 19th century. More Xs indicated increasing strength. In the mid 20th century, X appeared for the first time in the Oxford dictionary and was listed in relation to discussions about X ratings for strong adult content in films. During the 1970s adult film makers applied more X's to indicate more explicit content, and here we are in the 21st century where XXX is synonymous with pornography including some very, very sick stuff.

The X itself is very old, dating back to the early Christian era where to sign with an X was the same as to swear an oath. Read more here the origins of X and O

Hugs and kisses are much nicer than pornography, so I am going to go out on an extremely prejudiced limb, and say that X has been stolen and perverted just as many beautiful things like sex itself, have been distorted and perverted. There is such an enormous chasm between 'I love you. xoxo' and 'I want to XXX you', that it's worth seriously pondering, and deciding that sex should never be divorced from love, and that love does not always even need sex.

There! What do you say about that? And no pictures in this blog either...ah ha!

* extensive research = Yahoo answers

This post is rated MA

As I listened to radio talkback callers this afternoon on the subject of Joel Monaghan, one word erupted continually in mind like a psychological Mt Merapi: hypocrisy.

Why is is that the outrage is greatest when some variation of sex is involved? In the Monaghan case, for those who don't know, he was photographed simulating intercourse with a dog. His friends, family and rational compassionate strangers, say he is a good person who made a stupid mistake. His enemies and a vociferous minority of puritans say he is the Devil incarnate. Some people are even more worried that the dog may have been mistreated than they are about Monaghan and his family.

Hypocrisy.

Most adults have sex and apparently most of those people do it their bedrooms with their husbands or wives. Every other variation on the theme gets dismissed with the slightly ridiculous statement that people can do whatever their like behind closed doors in private. Unless of course they are footballers, movie stars or politicians then they can still do whatever they like, but the public has to know about it and has to moralize about them and their disgusting behaviour, and they'll have to stop doing it.

Hypocrisy.

My friends and family presumably think I'm a good bloke. But if I gather them all together and confess that I watched a video of a gang rape and found it arousing, what would they think then? What about if said I have sex with prostitutes, and sometimes dogs if I can't afford a decent hooker? Or, suppose I casually mentioned that I was a proud paedophile? Maybe, I just lust after every woman I see, and have been actively plotting to seduce a married woman? Felatio on horses or group sex anyone? Even if I had ever participated in any of the aforementioned variations on a sexual theme, there's zero chance I would tell anyone, and if the reason isn't obvious, then may I suggest you have a brain scan?

Most people's private lives are exactly that: private, but sex has become so twisted and depraved in the way it is portrayed in the media and in movies, including pornography, and the way it is used to sell us all the things we need, that incidents like Joel Monagahan's appalling attempt at humour spark explosions of moral outrage. And before all you God haters start patting yourselves on the back and saying, "I'm so proud that I'm not a hypocrite like all those Christians", I should warn you that hypocrisy is a human disease of pandemic proportions which afflicts the righteous and the unrighteous alike.

The old prophet Isaiah was right on the money when he denounced the hypocrites of his day, as having outer shells of virtue with inner wickedness. We are no different.