A Dog's Eye 1: Life can be like a movie

I'm a romantic. If pressed I would say that my favourite genre is romantic comedy, because I like the warmth and fuzziness. I like fairy tales. Who doesn't, right? What's not to like about a happily ever after tale, especially when so many of our own relationships and of those people we know, and hear about, do not have happy endings. That's the main reason films, television shows and books are so popular. Escapism. Vicarious living.

We know, however, that real life is rarely like fiction. Fiction is a highlights package on steroids. It's an exaggerated presentation of life's high and lows. Even in the 'in between times', when there is neither anything terribly exciting or traumatic happening to the characters, there is still a healthy dose or 'larger-than-life' being shown to us. 

Real life is mostly the in between times. It's mundane. Routine. Pretty much the same thing day after day. We appreciate the 'just like the movies' moments because they are rare. And many of us are addicted to fictional entertainment for the same reason: our lives are filled with so much humdrum, or negative, stress and worry inducing stuff that we want to escape.

Last Wednesday, I arrived back in Darwin, sleep deprived, but exhilarated - almost overwhelmed by my own 'just like the movies' moment. For me though it lasted five days. For five days I was living a romantic comedy, with perhaps the only difference being that the complication was very short. From the imaginary game of tennis on the sidewalk to the long farewell at the airport, I felt like I was dreaming.

I still do. Now that we are separated again by distance, I feel strange and a little lost, as though nothing will be quite right until she is once more in my arms. (awww...I told you I was soppy)

When have you had a 'just like the movies' moment? I'd love to hear your stories.

Women #atozchallenge

With a wistful smile, Tyson drained the remains of his schooner, sighed and said. ‘I am an idealist. What can I say? A dreamer. A romantic. It’s not a crime is it, to want things to be the way they could be? The way they should be.’

There was nothing more to be said. Angus was a dreamer too, like his old mate, but he dreamed of different things. He imagined a perfect woman, a perfect relationship which was so good that he no longer felt even the faintest flicker of desire for another. Physical and emotional intimacy. He wanted to be wanted, and if he found a woman who wanted him, he would be satisfied. Which one, if any of the women, he was now so vigorously pursuing would fill this role in his life? And was that all he was looking for? Someone to play a part? Someone to fit in with what he wanted? Was there such a woman who would cater to his every wish? These ruminations sounded increasingly selfish, each thought another oily slick covering the surface of the cesspool.

Lovesick chapter 11

The story of how Hazem El Masri and Arwa Abousamra met, fell in love and got married is a fairy tale worthy of retelling. A chance meeting at a football ground in Sydney, Australia, between El Masri, a refugee from Lebanon who became the most prolific point scorer in the history of rugby league, and Abousamra, a migrant from Palestine, ignited a relationship which both considered to be destiny.

They had each found the One. Many people believe in soul mates and perfect matches. With an ideal partner in mind, they either wait or actively search for Mr or Mrs Right. The cynic in me says ‘good luck with that’. The truth is there are no perfect people so there can be no perfect matches.

Most relationships only survive the rollercoaster ride of life through hard work and a dedication which at times may border on bloody-mindedness. Both must continue to strive for the highest good of the other, but how many completely selfless people do you know?

Hazem and Arwa separated after thirteen years of marriage. They say they parted friends, but they parted nonetheless: no happy ending. Sadly, there are far too few of them.

Share your fairy tale romance. How did you meet the person of your dreams? Or are you still looking?

The Sound of Truth

Spoiler alert. If you are planning to watch Mud, you may not want to read this post.

Mud is a engaging drama with excellent acting performances by Matthew McConaughey and the supporting cast. The title of the film is also the name of McConaughey's character and further refers to the murky ambivalence of the adults in the film. Mud is a coming of age story focused on 14 year old Ellis, who looks for love, truth and security in the midst of the breakdown of his parent's marriage. What I particularly liked was the uncertainty I felt about the characters' actions and motives. I really cared about all of them, especially Ellis, who made a curious decision to trust a complete stranger which led to a potentially disastrous chain of events. His friendship with Mud didn't make sense and I worried the whole time that Mud was going to hurt him. Mud spun a tale of love, a fairy tale romance about a girl he had loved all his life and for whom he would do anything. With his parent's love for each other evidently dying, Ellis latched on to the fairy tale and decided fight for it, alongside Mud. Ellis also fell in love with an older girl who flirted with him and invited him on a date.

The problem for Ellis was that he wanted so badly to believe in love that he was blinded to reality. Mud was a violent criminal, obsessed with the love of his life, Juniper, who kept running off with other men. Mud had allowed a fantasy, a distortion to dictate the terms of his life. He was a fugitive. Juniper loved him but did not want to be with him. She simply liked having him as her fall back guy, and the man who could take care of her problems. Mud and Juniper presented two different sides of the story to Ellis. Tom, Mud's surrogate father, told Ellis some harsh facts about Mud as well, yet Ellis wanted the fairy tale ending so he got deeply involved. The older girl led him on, then dumped and humiliated him. His parents separated and lost their family home as a result. Ellis desperately wanted everything to work out, but it didn't, and his foolish pursuit nearly cost him his life.

However, who could blame him? Haven't we all ignored the facts as we chased down an infinitely more desirable fiction? Don't we all want to believe in happy endings? Haven't we all been blinded by the dazzling light of love? Don't we want love to conquer all? How often have we allowed our feelings, rather than our minds to dictate our actions? How much trouble has that got us into? Haven't we all suffered from the inevitable consequences of romanticism? Haven't we all been hurt, yet invited more pain by trying again for happiness? Haven't we all battled against the odds to get what we wanted?

Where do we draw the line? How far would you go to get what you want? What would you be prepared to do to fulfill your dream? Sometimes, we don't like the truth and we don't want to accept it, so we don't. Sometimes this results in success. Sometimes it results in catastrophic heartbreak.

As I lay Dying have a song called The Sound of Truth which contains profound insights into the human heart. I leave you with a couple of lines from the song.

But what wisdom is there within in us,

to live based on the feelings of our hearts.

How many times has instinct let us down,

never to be thought through,

never to be questioned.

We have all heard what we wanted to hear:

Truth that sounds right to our ears.