A Dog's Eye: Opportunity and Choice

Today we were back in the House; God's House. For the first time in six weeks we were able to meet together at church for a gathering which perhaps some of us had begun to take for granted prior to COVID-19. The atmosphere was one of great celebration and excitement.

In keeping with COVID-19 safety advice, the auditorium and the adjoining cafe had been re arranged. Less seats, and not more than two together, in the former, and none at all in the latter. We queued for coffee (not me personally because I don't drink coffee) on crosses marked on the floor and took our caffeinated refreshments outside where we could maintain social distancing.

During the period of 'church by video' we also continued to meet in our small groups which we call Connect groups. We did this via Zoom. If you had shares in Zoom before COVID-19 you are among the winners in the world's worst pandemic in a hundred years. 

Interestingly, when we moved outside, regular Zoom participants didn't come, and those who had either completely or pretty much completely avoided the Zoom sessions were back with a bang. COVID-19 has provided an opportunity for people to evaluate what is important in their lives. The choices we made in response to the restrictions placed upon us by government fiat may have lasting consequences in the 'new normal'. Or not.

Will the lock down period, and what we had to do because some choices had been removed, be seen as an aberration which we should build a bridge over? Or will it be seen as a course correction for lives which had become unbalanced and devoid of gratitude?

I was initially upset by the closure of gymnasiums. My thrice or four times a week visit to the gym had become a staple of my routine. I saw it as necessary and would only drop a planned session if absolutely necessary. In the first week of no gym, I worked out in the stairwell of our apartment block. My wife and I then decided to go for a walk together in the evenings. This walk turned in to a workout which included interval training and body weight workouts.

What these evening exercise sessions also gave us was invaluable time together to talk. Now we're not just working on our fitness together, we're working on our relationship. However, this is maintenance, not surgery because we are already remarkably in sync. This time of talking and discussing issues keeps us on the same page. It is making us healthier and happier.

We chose this. I chose to do this with her, not alone and it was a great decision. I enjoy this time we have so much , I've decided not to not return to the gym.

This is just one example of a course correction brought about by COVID-19. I think almost everyone will have done this to some extent because life is all about opportunities and choices. Wisdom is required both to recognize opportunity and to make good choices in response. I believe many people have done, are doing exactly that. The rest will carry on, blind and ignorant to the things which really matter; to those eternal treasures which characterize the kingdom of Heaven.

The Mirror: breaking chains

You once made a poor choice which had long lasting and widespread consequences for you and those you love. Let's be honest, most of us have done this multiple times. You have the means to travel back in time to change that decision. Do you?

It's a classic hypothetical question. Time travel, as far as we know, is not possible. It is however the subject of countless films, television shows and novels. It is even a recurring theme in love songs. Recently I watched Back to the Future for the umpteenth time. I've previously written about Time Travelers on Netflix. Today I watched an episode of Dark Matter. Same subject: time travel. Science fiction series always have time travel episodes. It's fascinating and mind blowing stuff, but it's fictional. Purely speculative.

Why is time travel such a rich vein to mine for stories? What makes it such a popular theme? 

We all have regrets. At some point in our lives, we've all said those fateful words, 'If only...' Even though we cannot change the past, we still obsess about it. It's very human to think this way, but it isn't very helpful. As the writers of science fiction clearly explain, any change to a single event in the past would automatically impact on many other events. The ripple effect is a slave to the laws of physics. Time is not exempt. We can't selectively change the past, but even if we could, would we really want to?

The answer depends entirely on how you feel about yourself. The fact is the person you are now is primarily the cumulative result of your experiences. You have been shaped by what has happened to you. If you can accept that, you can break the chains and find peace and move forward. If not, you're in big trouble because you can't undo what has been done and the burden of history is far to heavy a load for anyone to carry.

The Moment

Life is full of moments: both literally as a collection of sequential short periods of time, and metaphorically as an anthology of events which are themselves the product of either our choices or the choices of others, or both.

The moment you choose Monte Carlo biscuits instead of Tim Tams. The moment you grab your blue undies instead of your red ones. The moment when you realize a wild rodent has eaten some of your bread. The moment you sit down to write a blog with one idea, then quickly switch to another. The moment the ball hits the underside of the crossbar and goes into the goal rather than back into the field of play. The moment you walk outside and feel the bite of winter wrapped in the weakened warmth of the sun. The moment you pull your beanie on your head.

The moment your open your eyes in the morning.The moment you open your eyes in the middle of the night. The moment you close your eyes and you feel hot tears burn your cheek. The moment you put your glasses on. The moment you take them off.

The moment you say yes. The moment you say no. The moment you hesitate, and your pause is interpreted as an answer. The moment you finally make a decision about which you have agonized for too long. The moment you tell someone about that decision.

The moment you understand yourself. The moment you understand someone else. The moment you become suddenly and painfully aware of how little you know, of how wrong you have been, and how lost you are. The moment when you are found. The moment you experience grace. The moment you show it to another person.

Life is full of moments. They come and they go: never to return, never to be changed, never to be corrected. Make your choices and live with the consequences. Be grateful when you don't receive the pain you deserve, and humble when you do.

Photo source:
http://www.dezeen.com/2011/09/15/watch-sculptures-moments-in-time-by-dominic-wilcox/

C is for Clayfield

C is for Clayfield

“‘Muddy! Let’s go.’

Mark turned to the sound of his crewmate’s voice. He felt sluggish. A poor night sleep had robbed him of vitality. His thoughts were fuzzy.

‘It’s not the bloody orange juice talking to you, mate. Snap out of it.’

Mark marveled at the pulp hovering in the orange liquid.

‘Muddy!’ Again the voice: more urgent. ‘We’re up.’

His reply sounded like it was uttered by someone else, but eventually he rose and donned his blue Navy cap. It bore the embroidered insignia of the RAN: a crown astride an oval bearing the words Royal Australian Navy over a picture of an anchor. As the alert continued to sound, the passageways flooded with personnel. The Albany carried twenty one sailors including Midshipman Clayfield. He climbed the ladder to the deck where he followed the gaze of the assembled crew towards the horizon. A hazy dot bobbed in and out of view.” From chapter 1, Ashmore Grief

Mark Clayfield is a regular guy, a normal bloke. Some would say he has a pretty cool job. He gets to travel, and he’s doing important work for the country, for national security. On the surface Mark seems like he’s in control and knows what he’s doing. He knows where he’s going. Superficially, everything is okay.

However, Mark, like many people, is going through the motions of life. Something is wrong but he can’t quite put his finger on it. He feels a dissonance, a lack of purpose, and a strange malaise. If he thought about his situation enough, he might even identify the early signs of depression. He needs to change course, but doing so will require courage. It will involve taking a risk, or several risks, and it may invite ridicule or scorn or disappointment from others.

He wants to be a man who makes a difference. He knows if he waits for something to happen, it won’t. He has to move, to be proactive. What will it take?

What are you going to do about your situation?

An Invitation to Pain

Roughly four weeks ago now I made a decision which has had a significant ongoing impact on my life. This is not an unusual thing. Not for me, nor anyone else. Life is full of choices, and all choices have consequences. Naturally, many of our daily decisions are trivial matters which we make quickly and without any real consideration. However, the bigger, potentially more beneficial or disastrous choices must be thought through carefully.

This is one area where I excel: thinking things through. I am an analytical and reflective person who does not take major decisions lightly. Generally, I am neither reactive nor spontaneous. I weigh up my options and take into account the possible ramifications. I run through scenarios in my mind, and I also talk to people. Sometimes, I talk because I think the person to whom I am speaking may be able to help me with some fresh insight into the situation. Other times, I talk because the act of vocalizing a problem or a dilemma is, in itself, helpful in providing some clarification.

What was the decision I made? I was reading the church newsletter and they were calling for players for the soccer team. I knew it was an all age team and I thought to myself, I'd like to do that. So I thought about it, and I talked to my wife and children about it. It would cost me 5-6 hours per week, a couple of hundred dollars to register, and it would probably hurt, especially in the pre season training period. There was also the possibility that I would suffer serious injury. I might not even make the squad as there were going to be more players than required.

Eventually, and I'm talking days later, I joined the team. The first training session was 4 weeks ago, and I have been in pain everyday since. I finish training feeling a mixture and elation and exhaustion, and despite the agony, I look forward to going back for more. 

I'm loving being pushed physically by a coach who is harder on us than I ever would be on myself. I'm enjoying rediscovering my skills, (I was in retirement for 30 years) and the challenge of trying to find the speed I lost somewhere along the way, and the power. I like the camaraderie and the dynamic of the different personalities of my teammates. My body is screaming for relief but this is good for me as a whole person, so I ignore the pain and treat the muscle injuries, and go back for more punishment. When I'm straining for breath after a brutal series of running drills, when I am in the thick of the game, running, tackling and kicking, I forget my troubles. I have found another form of escape. I feel at peace. So far the decision to play soccer has proved to be a good one. Stay tuned.

When have you made a decision which has been painful, either emotionally or physically, but has turned out to be of great benefit to you?

Photo sources
http://therightangle.co/issues/moral-dilemmas-in-citizen-journalism.html/
http://www.coastalsoccerusa.com/curriculum-methodology.php