An Invitation to Pain

Roughly four weeks ago now I made a decision which has had a significant ongoing impact on my life. This is not an unusual thing. Not for me, nor anyone else. Life is full of choices, and all choices have consequences. Naturally, many of our daily decisions are trivial matters which we make quickly and without any real consideration. However, the bigger, potentially more beneficial or disastrous choices must be thought through carefully.

This is one area where I excel: thinking things through. I am an analytical and reflective person who does not take major decisions lightly. Generally, I am neither reactive nor spontaneous. I weigh up my options and take into account the possible ramifications. I run through scenarios in my mind, and I also talk to people. Sometimes, I talk because I think the person to whom I am speaking may be able to help me with some fresh insight into the situation. Other times, I talk because the act of vocalizing a problem or a dilemma is, in itself, helpful in providing some clarification.

What was the decision I made? I was reading the church newsletter and they were calling for players for the soccer team. I knew it was an all age team and I thought to myself, I'd like to do that. So I thought about it, and I talked to my wife and children about it. It would cost me 5-6 hours per week, a couple of hundred dollars to register, and it would probably hurt, especially in the pre season training period. There was also the possibility that I would suffer serious injury. I might not even make the squad as there were going to be more players than required.

Eventually, and I'm talking days later, I joined the team. The first training session was 4 weeks ago, and I have been in pain everyday since. I finish training feeling a mixture and elation and exhaustion, and despite the agony, I look forward to going back for more. 

I'm loving being pushed physically by a coach who is harder on us than I ever would be on myself. I'm enjoying rediscovering my skills, (I was in retirement for 30 years) and the challenge of trying to find the speed I lost somewhere along the way, and the power. I like the camaraderie and the dynamic of the different personalities of my teammates. My body is screaming for relief but this is good for me as a whole person, so I ignore the pain and treat the muscle injuries, and go back for more punishment. When I'm straining for breath after a brutal series of running drills, when I am in the thick of the game, running, tackling and kicking, I forget my troubles. I have found another form of escape. I feel at peace. So far the decision to play soccer has proved to be a good one. Stay tuned.

When have you made a decision which has been painful, either emotionally or physically, but has turned out to be of great benefit to you?

Photo sources
http://therightangle.co/issues/moral-dilemmas-in-citizen-journalism.html/
http://www.coastalsoccerusa.com/curriculum-methodology.php

Bending over backwards

I have had the opportunity over the past six months to participate in a workplace literacy research project. A dozen of us literacy practitioners were asked to provide literacy and numeracy training to employees at various pilot sites, and to gather information about what worked and what did not.

This week we gathered together at the completion of the project to discuss what happened. Each of us was asked to speak for five minutes on a particular aspect of our project which the project managers had identified, from our final written reports, as worthy of further exploration in the group setting. My topic was flexibility.

I talked about flexibility being a desirable attribute in some circumstances and undesirable in others. For example, flexibility of thought is a good thing when attempting to deal with the unexpected, or in coping with change, but it's not good in relation to adherence to safety procedures. A cricket bat would not function at all if it was constructed of the same type of rubber as floor mats in cars. Sometimes rigidity is crucial to effectiveness and positive outcomes. Other times it is a hindrance.

In the case of the company I worked with, it was necessary for me to be flexible with the training schedule because it had to be changed on a weekly basis due to the unavailability of participants. My flexibility was limited though because I was only available one and half hours, two days per week. The company's flexibility was limited by the fact that they needed to serve their customers first, and attend training second.In the end, training was suspended because the frequent interruptions to, and forced rescheduling of the training caused us to believe that we were wasting our time. The level of flexibility shown, whilst initially helping the advancement of the project, ultimately resulted in early termination of the training.

We have to be flexible in life and in how we deal with people but extremes should be avoided at all costs. We all have to determine how flexible we are willing to be. How far are we willing to bend before we break? How far are we able to bend before we break? Do we want to bend at all? If we are thin rubber cricket bats we won't break but neither will we be of any use. At some point our flexibility stops being useful and becomes unhelpful, or worse destructive. I talked about car floor mats, and some people believe that bending over backwards for everyone indicates weakness. People who are that "flexible" may be labelled doormats. On the other hand, people who don't go out of their way to help others, who don't inconvenience themselves, may be criticized for being selfish.

A line has to be drawn somewhere between flexibility and rigidity. The fact that everyone draws this line in a different place on the spectrum is the reason why we have conflict.