Sunday, March 31, 2013

A is for Adultery

Let me begin by thanking Arlee Bird for founding the challenge.

“Is it fair to say you perceived my note as more than an invitation for coffee?’

“Convoluted question,” she replied, “but the answer is yes.”

- Loathe Your Neighbor ch. 12

Tiger Woods came up in the conversation at a family barbecue recently, as I’m sure he often does. A couple of women at the table wondered why men had affairs. Why don’t they just leave their wives if they are so unhappy? The answer to the question why do men commit adultery may be quite complex, or alternatively, very straightforward. It depends on the man. And on the other woman. One would think that a man who is totally satisfied by his wife will not go looking for any extra curricular activity. Unless he is greedy. So something has to be wrong somewhere for it to happen. The marriage is broken. The person is broken. Both people are broken.

Whether it is a sudden, almost accidental descent into the madness of infidelity, a slow fade, or a calculated choice, there is always a choice to be made. Our brokenness all but guarantees that many will make bad choices. Think about that the next time you invite a woman, who is not your wife, out for coffee.


  1. I don't think adultery need necessary be about being unsatisfied with your spouse. The thrill of the chase is missing from a marriage and some men (and some women) cheat to prove to themselves that they've still got "it".

    1. Good point. Men are generally hunters, and adulterers, I think would typically be described as achivement oriented.

  2. I responded to your email about the Linky List. I'd say to sign up again ASAP if my suggestions don't bring results for you. We don't want to see you get left out of the action with what appears to be some relevant posts to come.

    Wrote By Rote
    An A to Z Co-host blog

  3. Tiger Woods is only talked about in our home when we watch him play golf! I don't care about his affairs, or why really. I have a habit of enjoying people that are public figures for what they do to keep us entertained and don't get involved with stories of their personal mess.

    I do feel however, which is what your post is about....that if a marriage is broken, stepping out is not a cure or fix all, it creates more problems. Just like some use drugs and alcohol as a cure all....not gonna work for ya....I think when people go into a marriage they need to be good friends, have similar interests, have a mutual faith, respect for themselves, each other and others, and most of all truly love one another.

    1. In a perect world, that's how marriages would work. I also agree that an affair can be seen as a cure when in fact it is more like treating cancer with a band-aid.

  4. Interesting take on adultery.

    Stopping in from the A to Z Challenge! Best wished with the rest of the alphabet!

    -Cristyl @

  5. There's definitely complexity involved in something like adultery. Interesting post.

    I'm visiting as an A to Z Challenge minion/participant. Looks like you're off to a great start!

    The Golden Eagle
    The Eagle's Aerial Perspective