A is for Adultery

Let me begin by thanking Arlee Bird for founding the challenge.

“Is it fair to say you perceived my note as more than an invitation for coffee?’

“Convoluted question,” she replied, “but the answer is yes.”

- Loathe Your Neighbor ch. 12

 

Tiger Woods came up in the conversation at a family barbecue recently, as I’m sure he often does. A couple of women at the table wondered why men had affairs. Why don’t they just leave their wives if they are so unhappy? The answer to the question why do men commit adultery may be quite complex, or alternatively, very straightforward. It depends on the man. And on the other woman. One would think that a man who is totally satisfied by his wife will not go looking for any extra curricular activity. Unless he is greedy. So something has to be wrong somewhere for it to happen. The marriage is broken. The person is broken. Both people are broken.

Whether it is a sudden, almost accidental descent into the madness of infidelity, a slow fade, or a calculated choice, there is always a choice to be made. Our brokenness all but guarantees that many will make bad choices. Think about that the next time you invite a woman, who is not your wife, out for coffee.

Throwing Stones

Everyone is talking about David Campbell: former Minister for Roads and Transport in New South Wales, and former heterosexual family man. Channel seven aired footage of Mr Campbell attending something called a "gay sauna" in Kensington, and as result of the publicity, the minister resigned. There was talk at the time that his crime was not that he visited such a place and thereby inadvertently outed himself as a homosexual, but that he drove himself there in his taxpayer funded ministerial car.

This story is embarrassing for a number of reasons.The private lives of public figures has always been a talking point, a thing of interest apparently. Quintillions of copies of women's gossip magazines are sold because people are interested in other people's private lives. That is an embarrassment to society. So much pleasure gained from the knowledge of the problems of complete strangers. It is also an embarrassment for David Campbell to be called a hypocrite and excluded from being able to fit under the family man umbrella because he is homosexual. That people think "homosexual" and "family" are mutually exclusive words is an embarrassment to those narrow minds. The journalist who broke the story should be embarrassed for an unforgivable intrusion into Campbell's private life, and further ashamed to have used the pathetic excuse that it was in the public interest for him to be outed.

I'm embarrassed that people much such a big deal about homosexuality. Furthermore, I'm embarrassed that people obsess about sexuality in general. I think it's an absolute tragedy that sex has been so debased and distorted by men and women over the years that it has lost much of its beauty and simplicity. I do believe that homosexuality is a symptom of that distortion but I don't believe in ridiculing people and destroying families for personal gain or pleasure. I don't think it's right that homosexuals are treated differently, in some cases cruelly, by homophobic people.I don't think what has happened to David Campbell is interesting at all or even remotely titillating. I think it's very sad and embarrassing.

I can't help but think of the famous woman caught in adultery who was brought before Jesus by self righteous, heartless hypocrites who demanded she be punished. They said the law demanded that she be stoned. Imagine that! Imagine if people threw rocks at adulterers today. Would we be able to find enough rocks? Anyway, Jesus' words to those men and to us today were words of grace and compassion for the woman and condemnation for the would be stone throwers. He said, "let him among you who is without sin, be the first to cast a stone."

Those with the ability to be honest with themselves are laying down those rocks right now. I can hear them falling to the ground. Mercy triumphs over judgement!