The not so magnificent 7

Released in 1960 (eight years before I was born),The Magnificent Seven features a superb ensemble cast led by Yul Brynner and Steve McQueen, and is is one of my top ten films. Curiousity took me to the cinema last Sunday to see the 2016 re-make starring Denzel Washington.

Let's start with the good stuff before I rip in and tell you why this film is a 'fail' in my opinion.

The final battle scene was a lot of fun. Superb choreography, bullets and arrows flying (with incredible accuracy from the weapons of our heroes), and even a Gatling gun. Vincent D'Onofrio was almost unrecognizable and terrific in his supporting role of Jack Horne, and Emma Cullen made a very sexy damsel in distress.

Here's why I didn't like The Magnificent Seven 2016:

1. The village of poor farmers being regularly plundered by Calvera's bandidos (1960) became a mining town being exploited by a business tycoon. (2016)
2. None of the original characters were included in the new film. 
3. Yul Brynner's ice cold, man in black, mercenary cowboy, Chris, was replaced by an angry black man with an axe to grind named Sam Chisolm.
4. Awkward insertion of classic lines from 1960. Vin's (Steve McQueen) story of the man falling from a building, for example.
5. More style than substance (a common problem with modern action films)
6. A series of lame attempts to explain the motivation of the seven.
7. The insertion of a random Comanche Indian in the 7 who cuts out and eats a deer's liver or something. Why did he join this gang of white men? Ridiculous.
8. Sam Chisolm being motivated entirely by revenge. The original film is a redemption story, and has nothing to do with revenge. I guess the makers of the film thought revenge was sexier than redemption. 
9. Number eight was the second worst thing about the film. The worst thing was the ending. I literally scoffed out loud when I heard the sexy damsel in distress voicing over a shot of four crosses on the hill with these words: "They were magnificent!" Get me a bucket! 

1960: As they look one last time down on the village they rescued from its oppressor, Calvera, Chris says to Vin: 'We lost. We always lose," and they ride off. That's an ending!

If you haven't seen the 1960 version, you might enjoy The Magnificent Seven (2016),  but I could only give it 3 stars. If not for the aforementioned positives, it would have only been 2.

Alexander the "not very good at all really"

With the exception of James Bond films, I generally don't rush to the cinema to see the latest movies. In fact, even if they interest me, I don't usually fly to the video store to rent them once released on DVD either. With so many other enticing forms of entertainment and the various and never ending duties of which life is comprised, I miss a lot of movies.

And so it was, that some 12 years after the release of the director's cut of Alexander on DVD, I finally watched it. My interest was prompted by the fact I had just read Fire From Heaven by Mary Renault which is a fictionalized account of Alexander III childhood up until the death of his father Philip II.

I had high hopes for the film. Oliver Stone is no mug director and I have enjoyed many of his movies.However, at the conclusion of the 158 minutes, I was very disappointed, and this is why:

1. The backwards and forwards through time narration had me lost at times and wondering why a straight lineal telling of the tale would not have sufficed.

2. The sound production, perhaps best suited for the cinema was such that I could barely hear or understand what the actors were mumbling.

3. The preponderance of scenes which featured nothing of obvious import to the story, like the numerous 'feast' or party scenes in which the characters exchanged mysterious looks.

4. Angelina Jolie sounded like a drunk Russian, and all the Macedonians had English or Irish accents.

5. The omission of Alexander's first kill, and the inclusion of a suggested love scene with some bloke, but only a suggestion of the deep love between Alexander and Hephastion.

All in all, deeply unsatisfying. On a positive note the battle scene between the Macedonians on horseback and the Indians on elephants was breathtaking. My advice? Give Alexander a miss, and let's hope another director does justice to the tale of this most remarkable man.

Have you seen it? What did you think?

Movie Review: The Flowers of War

Christian Bale plays an accidental hero named John Miller in this film set during the fall of Nanking in 1937. As the Japanese troops march in and take over the city, Miller, an America mortician and drunkard finds refuge in a church with a group of school girls. They are later joined by a group of prostitutes from the nearby red light district.

The events in this exciting and tragic tale are based on actual events, but the story is quite fantastic so I wonder how much poetic licence has been taken. Nevertheless, it is a compelling and tragic tale with another wonderful performance by Bale.

Rated MA, the advisory says it features strong violence which in my view is a bit of an understatement, and it also contains rape scenes which I couldn't watch. The Flowers of War is in English, Japanese and Chinese (with English subtitles for the latter two) and is a suspenseful, shocking and heart warming film.

Watching it gave me some understanding of the historical antipathy of the Chinese people to the Japanese.