Friday, October 11, 2019

RelationDips: microwave relationships

It's a thing of the past now, but I once had a blog called 'I Don't Cook' which had a huge following in Poland. For all but 9 months (that's interesting) of my 3 year and 2 month long Darwin experience, I have lived alone. Those who live alone appreciate the problem of cooking.

Even if you like cooking, it often does not seem worth the trouble just to cook for yourself. My solution to this problem was to primarily consume microwave dinners. This had several benefits beside convenience, but I'll get to them in a moment. Reactions from people who I inform of my reliance on frozen meals are mixed; understandably so.

The proof is in the pudding though. I have saved a small fortune, maintained my weight and not wasted any food. Microwave meals tick a number of boxes for me, but one thing I do not do is draw any parallels between frozen dinners and relationships. Why would I? Why would I indeed?


  1. Microwave meals are cheap. If you want to save money, you could easily get away with only spending around $30 for a week of dinners. Eat only frozen dinners with your partner, justifying your choice with parsimony, and you are barking up the wrong tree.
  2. Frozen dinners are convenient. If you are consistently, or periodically time poor, these meals are life savers. In 5-8 minutes with nothing more than a few pokes of a fork through the plastic, you can have a meal. Be so busy that you are a.squeezing in time to be with your partner around your other activities or b. assuming they will accept being an afterthought, or c. playing the "quality time' over 'quantity time' card, and you have the wrong end of the stick.
  3. Microwave dinners are tasty. They come in a huge variety of cuisines with plenty of pasta and rice dishes as well as vegetarian offerings. I've eaten a few duds, but by and large they taste good. However, I've never had a "proper' meal and wished I was having a 'nuked dinner' instead. There's a big difference between an okay relationship and a good one. If you don't know the difference, let me give you a phone number to ring for help. Mediocre is not an acceptable adjective when applied to relationships.
A good relationship is expensive. It will cost money and time, and if you want it to stay good, then sacrifice is required. Love requires the exertion of your will and the execution of your selfishness. It takes effort. A good relationship should be consistently good, at the very least. It doesn't always have to be great, but it should have plenty of great moments. If you're in a relationship which has more lowlights than highlights you're in trouble. 

If your relationship feels like a microwave dinner, do something about it. Fix it. In other words, be the solution. If you can't fix it because the other person doesn't want to, then get out. Go to a restaurant and buy a real meal, or go to the supermarket and buy fresh ingredients to cook up something special. Ditch the frozen dinner relationship. You're better than that.

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