My Security Blanket

Most people like to maintain some degree of control in their lives, or at least hold to the illusion of control. There are many things we can control, but there are many we cannot. Attempting to control every aspect of our lives has major pitfalls, and the truth is that such a goal is unattainable.

The illusion or impossibility of being the complete master of our own destinies, does not stop many from trying. One of the main problems is that we share the world with other people-lots of them, and people cannot be controlled without infringing on their rights. Our choices are seldom made in isolation from the choices of others.

Enough of the philosophy. I accept that to a certain extent I am powerless, and at the mercy of other people's choices, and 'accidents'. However, I do like to control what I can. Enter my security blanket: routine. 

I live alone at the moment, so my home environment is a controlled one in which I stick to certain routines. Moving to a new state meant, among other things, establishing new routines. I did it quickly, or as quickly as I could, and then kept tweaking the plan to make it more efficient. I have a tight rein now on my spending now, for example, because I am here to save money and pay off debt. Last week I came in $50 under my budgeted spend for food and entertainment for the week, and I am still rejoicing.

I feel safe with my routines, and whilst not in bondage to them, I am, in most cases pretty loath to break them. If my routines were a person, I would hug them each night as I lay down to sleep.

The Refuge of Routine

I finally made it back out on to the road for a run this morning after many weeks of recovery and physiotherapy to treat a torn hip flexor muscle. I have missed my morning runs but in their absence I found a new thing to do. Getting up at the same time has provided the opportunity to write this blog (I'm running late now trying to do it.) To write to publishers to inform them that my manuscript has been accepted, to reach out to people on Goodreads, and to check emails. If I can't do one thing then I must find some other habit to fill that void.

Routine furnishes me with an anchor for my otherwise tumultuous life. I mean, it's all over the shop these days, but even when, back in the day, it was serene and ordered, I still loved routine. Routine is a refuge from chaos, and at the very least it helps maintain the illusion that I am in control.