N is for Neighbors

“As the smile broke across his face, David hoped it would not be misinterpreted. The situation was not amusing, but the language these cops used was hilarious. The preposterous understatement that Phil and Naydine had a bit of an argument was funny in itself but undertakings and utmost tranquilities? Was that part of their training?

 
“That’s all very well for them to say,” said David, “but if that shit fight was a bit of an argument, I’m going to need police protection if they ever have a real barney. And let’s face it, that’s pretty likely. I mean this isn’t the first time they’ve had a blue, but it’s for sure the worst. That’s why I called.””

-          Loathe Your Neighbor ch.1

 

Even if they don’t have an adjoining wall or fence, we all have neighbors. We’ve all had good neighbors, and probably a few pretty ordinary ones. You may even have had both. Ideally, we have good relationships with our neighbors which means we are friendly and help each other out: watching the house, collecting the mail, and feeding the animals while they are away. If only just to wave and say G’day, a minimum level of civility, we hope to be on good terms with those living beside, behind, above or below us. But what do you do when your neighbors are ratbags? Noisy, dirty, dodgy and just plain rude.

 

Deal with them yourself like a true diplomat, or like a local security guard? The kindness of cakes, or fruit from your yard, or stern warnings with appropriate gesticulations? With subtlety by prank calling them or with audacity by blowing up their letterbox and blaming it on local rabble rousers? Maybe you’d call the police, and risk possible repercussions Maybe you’d suffer in silence. Maybe you’d move. In Loathe Your Neighbor, David Lavender’s response to his bothersome neighbor has very dramatic consequences. What about you? Do you have a bad neighbor story to share?