The Last Hard Sell

I could have written this yesterday when, despite strenuous combatative mental efforts, I felt somewhat despondent. I could have used this forum to vent: to decry the appalling waste of six hours of my life, to lament the vanity of my efforts, to call into question the wisdom and value of my actions. I could have done that yesterday, but I was hoping a good night's sleep would take the edge of my disappointment. It seems I may have been mistaken.

As part of my continuing efforts to sell my novel, Loathe Your Neighbor, I travelled to Gerringong where a street market is held once a month. At short notice, I was able to get a table, in a good location just inside the entrance to the Town Hall. It was a fresh, sunny morning. My mood was hopeful, and doubtful.

I greeted nearly everyone who walked past.Twenty six of these greetings turned into conversations. I handed out a dozen or so business cards. People talked to me, asked me questions, gave me advice, encouraged me, looked at my books, talked about what they liked to read, and what they had written themselves. Just before nine o'clock I sold a copy of my debut novel, Devolution. Forty five minutes later, I sold a copy of LYN. With that sale, I covered the cost of the table, my mood was bouyant. However, that was my last sale.

A number of people said they would think about it. Still more said they had already spent their money. Others said they simply couldn't, or shouldn't buy any more books. They wished me well. They walked away.

I couldn't help think of my taxi driving days when I once worked ten hours and took home thirty dollars. I couldn't help consider the fact that I had sold two books accidentally, a week ago when I was having dinner with a group of guys from my church. I couldn't help but be hurt but the words 'It costs too much.' I couldn't help but be discouraged by the guy who self published a book and walked into bookshops, and sold fifteen hundred copies. I received so many suggestions on how to sell LYN, and I have tried most of them, but my success has been underwhelming. I've had enough.

Was I only making conversation with people yesterday because I wanted them to buy my book? Yes. Do I like talking to  people? Yes, but I wouldn't go anywhere specifically just to say hello to people, and have a chat. Am I tired of devising new ways to reach people? Yes. I'm not a salesman. It's time to concentrate on the next book. I've done all I can. Enough is enough. This post is too long and I don't want to write any more like this. When I cannot enjoy the fact that two complete strangers risked $20 of their hard earned money to buy my books, I know it is time to step back from this marketing madness. As Kenny said, "You've got to know when to hold 'em, and know when to fold 'em."

Photograph source:
http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/2010/10/28/review-kenny-rogers-gambler/

M is for Marketing and Lawnmowers

“The only sounds were of whirring steel blades and plastic cords as locals attacked the fast growing Buffalo grass on their lots in Chinaman’s Hollow. Victa lawn mowers and Stihl line trimmers were the weapons of choice in the war against the humidity-fuelled growth in the yards of suburbia.”

-          Loathe Your Neighbor ch. 1

 
Okay, this is bit of a cheat. I really wanted to write about lawnmowers and mowing lawns and how I love it: the process, the finished product, the smell of cut grass, the 75 Db rumble of the 4 stroke engine. What’s not to love? I love doing laundry too. Especially folding and putting away clothes. So satisfying. My question: what household chores do you love?

Now, if you want some tips on marketing your book, read on. Let me begin by saying I don’t really like marketing. In fact, there are times when I loathe it. However, I understand that as a relatively obscure (I’m being very generous to myself here) writer, I need to sell myself and my work. Boy, is it a hard sell! Can I get an “amen’?

 

-          Work social media like a, well not exactly like a demon, but you know what I mean. Remember it’s all about relationships so try not to cross the vague line which makes you a spammer.

-          Natural relationship to a product? Sell to a retailer offer who can then offer free copies with a purchase of something. For example, a book about driving available in an auto parts store.

-          Free speeches to local clubs, libraries, schools and businesses

-          Reach those who can reach others. Everyone you connect with can reach people you can’t.

-          Learn the 10 second brag to answer the inevitable question, “What’s your book about?”

-          Expand your blog to include stories/reviews/bios/tips etc

-          Portion of sales to charity

-          Flyer/business card. Business cards work well when they follow a conversation.

-          Press releases

-          Visit other blogs and comment (there’s this thing called the A-Z blogging challenge. Have you heard of it? J Apparently it’s a pretty good way to increase visitors to your website and thereby increase your exposure. It’s also a lot of fun.)

-          Don’t ask people to buy your book just tell them about it. Or tell them to buy it…just kidding.

-          Ask readers to write and post reviews. I’m told that nothing sells a book like a personal recommendation.

-          Contact local newspaper (feature article)

-          Instore appearances/book signing at book shop. I recently contacted 11 book stores and only 3 replies. 2 were flat no, and 1 was a maybe.

-          contact local radio

-          sell at the market. In 6 hours, I sold 2 books which thankfully covered the cost of the stall.

-          ask readers to send pics of themselves reading your work

-          giveaways. I have an author page on Goodreads and the giveaway to launch Loathe Your Neighbor generated a lot of interest

-          contact reviewers

-          guest blog/host bloggers

 

Does any of it work? I’ve done almost everything on the list, but do you know who I am? Have you read Loathe Your Neighbor?. My best advice is to try everything, and keep trying. Be inventive and never forget that we write because we love it writing.

 

 

Courageous or Crazy

Nuts are a kind of food. There are many different kinds of nuts...Hey, wake up! This is interesting. Snickers, the nut filled chocolate bar which really satisfies has just been released in a new version. The latest in an insanely long line of Snickers varieties is a yellow packet version. Mars confectionery, bless their hearts, after trying once to boost sales of the popular snack with a king sized version, and then again with an extra nuts edition, now want us to try Snickers with three nuts. I don't know if this marketing has been successful or not, nor do I know whether the marketing gurus at Mars and the boffins who make the budgetary decisions are courageous or crazy. Successful or not, I think they are all nuts.

With apologies to North American readers who are used to multiple varieties of everything, I must say I just can't see the need for trying to improve Snickers. It's always been a favourite of mine because it really satisfies, and it helps me feel more like myself as opposed to grouchy like Joe Pesci, or wussy like Betty White. Australia did not even receive the Snickers blessing until 1977 which was 47 years after the sensational product hit the stores in the U.S., and 50 years after it was invented. Who says Australia isn't behind the rest of the world? The point is though, the Snickers bar was three years in the making. That's 1095 days of tinkering and fine tuning the original product to get it spot on. I reckon it's perfect. Just the right size, exactly the right amount of nuts, and precisely the right kind of nut: the peanut. It doesn't need to be improved.


However, changing the ingredients and/or the packaging is necessary according to Mars, and it does provide at least an initial boost to sales simply because people are curious. One of the human characteristics which is mercilessly targetted by advertisers is our curiousity, the other is our greed. We've already got the perfect chocolate bar, Snickers, but they say, let's try to improve it because we need to sell more units. Well, I'm not falling for it this time. Call me courageous or call me crazy but I am going to boycott Snickers as a personal protest. Are you with me?


To encourage participation in my futile little protest, I am offering a free copy of my short story Yummy. Just e-mail me and ask for it.