Showing posts with label funerals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funerals. Show all posts

Friday, July 27, 2018

A Dog's Eye: The measure of a good man part 1

Death seems to make saints of so many sinners. When somebody dies, there is very rarely a bad word spoken about them because it is generally accepted that one should not speak ill of the dead, particularly the recently departed.

Does that mean it is okay to criticize and belittle people, to speak hateful, spiteful words, and to highlight someone's faults while they are alive, but when they die they become untouchable? It seems sometimes only death allows a person to be fully forgiven for the wrongs they have committed in life. People are judged much more harshly during their lifetime than at their death. Although the deceased's enemies would no doubt say what a bad person they were, and happily point out their failings and "sins", no one wants to hear that. It makes us all feel much better if the goodness of the person is emphasized.

Friends say it is bad that a good person has died, while enemies say it is good that a bad person has died, and they could be talking about the same person. Both are expressing opinions. Everybody can be good or bad because it depends on a personal point of view. A person's goodness or badness is entirely relative. When you listen to people talk about others, their comments are usually based on what that person has done for them, or for someone they know.

Here's an example: Bill is talking to Fred about George who is a mechanic at a local garage. Bill says that George is a good bloke because he helped Bill's sister when her car broke down and he didn't charge her anything. Fred does not like George because George gave him an outrageously high quote for some repair work, and then became angry when Fred wanted to get another quote. Bill says George is a good man, but Fred says he is a bad man. Both are making judgments solely on their experience of George. If the two men were talking to you about George, how would you judge him? Regardless of what you think, what is the true ,objective measure of a good man?

I will attempt to answer that question in the next installment. 

Saturday, April 6, 2013

F is for Funerals


“At the chapel, he began consoling the mourners, just as he had imagined. Those he embraced, inhaled alcohol fumes and did their best to ignore it. Compassion rules at funerals. Everyone is sorry. Everyone walks on eggshells, chooses their words carefully, feigns interest to cover boredom and whitewashes judgment with mercy. Everyone is concerned. The alcohol was losing its grip and so was David.”

- Loathe Your Neighbor ch. 21

 

A friend of mine died last month, three weeks after he was diagnosed with lung cancer. Still in shock, we, his friends and family attended what was called a “celebration service”. I was heavy hearted as I parked my car and walked to the main entrance of the chapel where the service was to be held. A jazz band was playing out the front as a crowd lined up to sign the condolence book and enter. The chapel was full: all seats and standing points around the walls were taken. The hall took the overflow. The service was filled with laughter as we remembered a beautiful man of God who lived to show God’s grace to others. He knew why he had been born and where he was going when the job was done. I have never left a “funeral” feeling so inspired, almost happy. Sure we will all miss him but what a wonderful legacy he has left. What a wonderful picture of God’s love in life and in death. We have this hope, as Christians, that because Christ rose from the grave, and we believe in his resurrection power, we too will live forever. I know why some funerals I have been to were so depressing. No hope. Do you have hope for life after death?

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The Race that Stops Our Sanity

They call it the Sport of Kings and bathe it with timeless romanticism but it leaves me as cold as the weather in the sporting capital of Australia. The Melbourne Cup is held every year on the first Tuesday in November. Believe it or not, punters, socialites, and various assorted horse people have been gathering at Flemington racecourse for 150 years. I have no idea why.

If you love horses, which I don't, then I can understand how joy is derived from watching them do what they do very well: run. If you love gambling, which I don't, then I can understand the ecstasy of winning money by betting on the outcome of a horse race. I leave aside the devastation, and the there-goes-my-hard-earned-money-down-the-toilet feeling, when you lose. Apart from these two pull factors, what is the appeal?

Which brings me to Melbourne Cup day when people who never even think about horses let alone speak about them with other people or waste their money betting on them, suddenly and miraculously, in a burst of communal euphoria, are overwhelmed by the excitement of the great event. People take time off work to attend the race itself or special luncheons/booze ups to celebrate something. And they dress up fancy. Man, do they dress up.

Here's a quick quiz. Can you name another occasion for which people don their best formal attire and take time off work in the middle of the week?

Funerals. People dress up for funerals, weddings and the Melbourne Cup. How often have you attended a mid week wedding? Never. That's because weddings aren't as important as the Melbourne Cup. It must be important because a total of $98.1 million was spent on bets at Tabcorp in New South Wales and Victoria.

All this adds up to either absolute collective madness, or just a bit of harmless fun in the true Aussie spirit. You can decide which but I think you know where I stand.