“Walking to the kitchen, I see Angus lurking in the darkness, floating, hovering like a ghost. I feel cold. I open the fridge and stare into the bright light without seeing anything. I’m not hungry. My appetite has been AWOL since Angus left. I eat occasionally, albeit absently and in mouthfuls rather than meals. Every now and then I become ravenous and eat greedily, but it makes me feel sick and I have often had to vomit up the meal soon after consuming it. I know I’m shedding weight rapidly, but I am afraid to jump on the scales to measure my decline. I don’t need hard evidence.
Angus is a wraith who will haunt me to my grave.”
Lovesick chapter 32
Forgiveness can be difficult, but it is possible. It happens. People let go and free themselves of the burden of bitterness. On the other hand, forgetting is virtually impossible. Certain memories of people, places and events do not fade with time, no matter how much we wish they would. Sometimes, we are haunted because we cannot, perhaps do not want to, let go. On other occasions we may be victims of those who do not wish to let us go.
The word haunt is also used to refer to a lingering regret which follows us through life. I wish I had have done this or that. I wish I had not done that. If only…
In most cases we cannot change what we have done: the past inscribed in stone, bears witness to history and its offspring. We have to find some way to make peace with ourselves about the wrong things we have done, and the bad choices we have made. For some people this is easy; for others perhaps not so. The latter may be doomed to a stained, spoiled future.
Let go, my friends. Let go, and your ghosts will vanish into the ethereal mist from which they emerged.
Have you ever been haunted? Are you haunted? I’d love to hear about it.