“David watched Lilijana slip out of her party dress and admired her figure. She had given birth to three children and you could tell. It was not the body of the Lilijana he had married ten years ago, but it was a beautiful body nonetheless.
“Stop staring at me,” she protested.
“You’re drunk and I’m tired.”
There it was: the phrase of death for his exasperated libido.”
- Loathe Your Neighbor ch.2
L is also for Lilijana Lavender, married to David in Loathe Your Neighbor and only infrequently interested in sex. David on the other hand, like many men, is almost always interested in sex. He would prefer to make love with Liijana but due to her lack of desire he finds himself typically in a state of non reciprocated arousal. What is a man to do with an unsated appetite? His mind wanders and if it wanders often enough, and far enough away then more than likely his body will follow. When he sees an attractive woman and imagines having sex with her, is it lust? Are his lascivious thoughts a violation of the woman? Is he simply unable to control the urge to satisfy himself? Yes, yes, and yes. Does he wish more than anything else that his wife was meeting this need that he has? Does every woman whom he objectifies represent a cheap substitute? Does he feel guilty for using women this way? Yes, yes, and yes.
I remember the first time I heard the word lascivious. It was used in conjunction with another excellent word: concupiscence. The context was a lecture about sexuality and sexual purity. Both of the words carry very negative connotations. In fact the lecturer added to the dictionary definition of lascivious by saying that it was the stirring of a strong desire which could not be satisfied in a moral way. The only means by which a man can righteously dispose of his seed and slake his sexual thirst, is with his wife. I think that is an excellent ideal. A noble assertion. A worthy pursuit. However, sex has become so distorted, so twisted away from the beautiful intentions of its inventor, it is rare for such purity to be maintained. Should we then abandon the pursuit of what is good and right because it is difficult or costly? Of course not. Sex is a good thing which we #@*$ up, pardon the pun.