Wednesday, April 3, 2013

C is for Chainsaw


“He may as well have been wearing a hockey mask for the effect he had on David. He was feverishly cutting away at a shrub which lay at the foot of his back stairs. By the time David arrived to see the carnage, Phil had already reduced the once mighty plant to a husk, less than a quarter of its original size.”

- Loathe Your Neighbor ch. 1

 

I bought a chainsaw in a box. I wanted a cheap one so I risked buying an unknown brand from overseas which I knew I would have to partially assemble. I was excited when it arrived. The thought of felling trees, with apologies to any Greenie readers, thrilled me. I couldn’t wait to get the thing out of the box, put it together, add some fuel and let her rip. In my mind’s eye, I watched the target of my hostility yield quickly to my two stroke power. Sadly, I did not get very far because the new chainsaw had a broken part. To cut a long story short, after I fitted the replacement part, the chainsaw sat in my shed gathering dust until my brother in law managed to do what I was not able to: start the damn thing. Many months had elapsed and I had often dreamed of the demolition job I was going to do on the unwanted living wooden towers which crowded my property. With the roar of the two stroke coming to life in my brother-in-law’s hands, my hope was renewed. Three weeks later, I donned my safety gear and felled the offender, reducing it to handy carry sized logs in less than fifteen minutes. Maybe I should have worn a hockey mask…you can call me Phil if you want.

10 comments:

  1. Nicely done. Stopped by from A-Z.

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  2. What is it with men and their chainsaws?! My husband is the same way.
    Stopped by from A to Z. I'll be back :)

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    1. It's not just chainsaws, it's all powertools. I can barely contain myself when I go to Bunnings. Thanks for visiting.

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  3. I'm glad you were able to do what you set out to do. I hope the view is less cluttered after the demolition job.

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    1. I exaggerated the destruction...what can I say, I'm a writer. Thanks for visiting.

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  4. It sounds all very masculine and alpha male. I'm sure you had a ball! :)

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    1. I reckon there are plenty of ladies out there who love powertools. VR Barkowski tells me she wants a pink one. Thanks for visiting.

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  5. We recently had an large oak tip over in shallow soil. Didn't have a chainsaw and ended up paying a small fortune to have someone come, cut up the wood, and haul it out. Ever since, I've had a yen for a chainsaw of my very own. Maybe a pink one. :)

    Happy A to Z!

    ~VR Barkowski


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    1. I can't believe how much "tree mechanics" charge. We have a large something or other in the backyard which is on its way to the ground. Sadly it is beyond my levels of bravery to do anything other than call in the experts with the right equipment. I like the idea of a pink chainsaw. I don't see why it should only be men who like powertools. Thanks for visiting.

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