I feel strange today. My senses are a knife with a dull blade, my eyes peer out through foggy glass, my tongue tastes shadows of flavour, faint aromas fail to arrest my attention. If I really knew what, or who myself was, I would say that I am not feeling myself today.
I'm achievement oriented; a big fan of 'to do' lists, a planner and a thinker. My down time from work is often filled with reflection and imagination. I envision the future I want, and I spend considerable energy trying to figure out how to get it, how to make it mine. I guess I am not unusual in my desire to maintain some degree of control over this crazy messed up thing called life.
Some days it's a piece of cake. I'm well organised and energetic. Decisive and productive. But in the words of Chris Cornell "Some days it ain't so easy." Some days I really flounder. Some days I feel like Samson, other days like a dandelion. The slightest puff of a breeze can destroy me, the most insignificant of obstacles or distractions can render me useless.
I am okay with my weakness. Really. In fact, I believe that the strongest people are those who admit their weakness, who acknowledge their faults and who ask for help. As I Lay Dying wrote a song called Upside Down Kingdom. The chorus says:
"Simplicity is not a curse where strength is humbled and the powerless rise. This is a kingdom born upside down. This is a kingdom where the broken are crowned."
Have you embraced your weakness and accepted the fact that control is an illusion?
Broken Egg in Nest photograph by Brian J Krummel http://scannography.org/artists/krummel.html