Friday, March 23, 2018

relationDips 1: e-whores

e-whore: a person who uses sex in some way to persuade men to pay money, or sign up for some online service. They usually target men.

One can see by how many of these fraudsters there are, either there is a lot of money to be made in this "industry", or all these dishonest and devious people involved in such exploits are stupid.

Truth be told there is no shortage of stupidity on both sides: victims and perpetrators. 

I understand why men get sucked in by these deceptions. I too have been sucked in. Eventually I worked out what was going on as I noticed certain commonalities among the women who followed me on Twitter, then said hello, then told me a bunch of lies before asking for money, usually in the form of an iTunes or Amazon gift card. Why they ask for those particular methods of payment is a still a mystery to me.

Fantasy plays a big part in this whole sorry business. E-whores appeal to weakness. By using flattery and provocative photos, they quickly catch the attention of many men, who will, despite knowing better in most cases, play the game. Why? Because the game meets a need.

The problem is that such frivolous and fraudulent encounters do nothing to satisfy deep emotional needs. This form of counterfeit intimacy is what Dr Allen Meyer calls "junk sex". In just the same way as junk food meets the immediate need of satisfying hunger, but leaves one soon disappointed and hungry, as well as malnourished, junk sex is a cheap substitute for real emotional intimacy.

Believe it or not men who indulge in this online behaviour are not primarily driven by a desire for sex. It's much more complicated than that.

If a man in your life is trapped in this roundabout of addictive behaviour, try to get him to talk about his motives, and show him mercy. Leave your judges cap in the closet. Most likely he doesn't like what he's doing either.

Real relationships, honest and transparent ones with genuine people, are real food for our souls. The search for intimacy continues...

NB: I usually include images in my posts, but for obvious reasons this time I did not.


  1. Great name e-whore
    The first time I was catfished and fell deeply hurt in love and was like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. The circumstances for meeting my acra American honey, were dodgy from the beginning
    But I wanted to believe Devine coincidence particularly after just having completed an intense yoga teacher training course, I then thought that was how my life was now going to be like. I don’t consider myself stupid or desperate but I did think this ewhore was worth saving as long as I could keep on showering love and positive thoughts to her and I was different from all the other victims. But sending the love down through western union hemorridged my self with self value and totally screwed my beliefs..
    but I got through it and even got an apology out of her
    But it does seem stupid to think I had to jump over thousands of women and thousands of kilometres to try and have a relationship with someone who had bad internet, a phone that doesn’t work properly and starts affectionately calling me “dear” 5 minutes into the conversation

    1. Thanks for sharing Peter. I appreciate your honesty. You are not alone.

  2. It's all just what you say, and I agree with you ...