new short story collection. Out now!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

The Law is my Mother

Apparently there have been a number of cases of pedestrians walking into the paths of oncoming emergency vehicles and receiving injuries and occasionally death for their carelessness. The cause is earphones, or more specifically the music screaming from them into the eardrums of those with the aforementioned items inserted into their ears.

Deafened by their audio entertainment, they step forward, oblivious of rapidly approaching catastrophe. Pedestrians can be pretty stupid. Lazy. Reckless. Careless. Pedestrians are people. Speeding emergency service vehicles are not.

Anyway, I've heard a suggestion from some relevant authority; one of the blessed and chosen ones who speak publicly on behalf of others and have the pleasure of witnessing their wise counsel reduced to silly soundbites. He said, he thinks we need a law to force earphone users to only plug one ear when they are in public.

Awesome idea. Let's disengage police officers from crime fighting duties to arrest people for using two ear phones to listen to their mobile music players in public. Let's beat them with canes in public so people learn to act more sensibly, and take more thought with their actions, and the possible consequences of said actions.

I love laws which attempt to protect people, not from others, but from themselves. What about a law that forces people to brush their teeth twice a day. We have a shortage of dentists, so if people take better care of their teeth, they won't need dentists. Let's publicly abuse people with poor oral hygiene to make sure they get the point. Humiliation is great for modifying behaviour.

We need the law to be our mother: to tell us what to do and to threaten punishments if we don't obey. Finally, a law I would really like to see introduced is one that makes it illegal for my wife to say that I don't listen to her. Are you with me fellas?

No comments:

Post a Comment